Nick-Names

I'm not sure if it's just me and my friends, or everyone that enjoys baseball, but I find it's nice to assign my own nick-names to the players. And I'm not too bad at it, either. So while I'm watching the Cubs, let me go through a few of my better ones.
Derrick Lee - Wu Tang
This was a good one. Here's my stereotype based thinking. Derrick is a typically Black first name. Lee is a very Asian last name. In addition, he grew up living in Japan. So that's 2 blendings of Black and Asian. And who is more famous for blending those 2 cultures than....The Wu-Tang Clan! And it passes the key test of being a fun one to yell out and chant. Cause what good is a clever nick-name if you sound stupid while saying it?!

Aramis Ramirez - Spyder
This one wasn't clever. I couldn't think of anything good, I'd had a few Buds, and I figured that every team needs to have a guy with the nick-name Spyder. And Aramis just seemed to wear it well.

Todd Walker - Muzzle
I have to give props to my fallen ex-roommate Jack for this one. it was mostly him. If not completely him. But Walker seems to grow facial hair b/t innings. He has a constant stuble going on at all times. So we'd joke about him shaving in the dugout and such all the time. Funny stuff when you're drinking.

Michael Barrett - Catfish
Look at him. He just looks like a guy that'd have that name. Just looks like a nice catfish-lovin' southern boy. And being a catcher, he has roughly the same speed as a catfish. And again, it's just fun to call a guy catfish. Try it sometime.

Jerry Hairson Jr. - Ricky
Long one here. Hairston --> Hair --> the musical Hair --> which I confuse with HairSpray --> which starred Ricki Lake. Thus....Ricky. And when he does good, I yell it out like the mom in Boyz in da Hood. Which then makes my girlfriend get mad at me and makes her cry. As she puts it, she's emotionable. So moments like that make her cry forever.

Latroy Hawkins - The Falcon of Black Death
This is from my boys out in Denver. They gave him this one. The Falcon part is from his name (HAWKins). And he is a very dark black man, thus Black Death. Well, when he was a good pitcher he was Black Death for the hitter. Lately he's just been Black Death for his own team.

Kevin Millar - BattleCat
I'm not 100% sure of the origins of this one. It was from when Jack and I were drinking heavily and watching alot of RedSox games. So it's a bit fuzzy. But it seemed to center around him and David Ortiz. Ortiz was the better hitter, so he was like He-Man. But Millar was still quite good that year. Definately no slouch. So I believe that was where it came out of. Cause BattleCat could throw down when he needed to on the show. He'd normally just be around doing his thing until He-Man needed him. Then it was on. Kinda like Ortiz and Millar.

Matt Murton - MadMan
The red hair, the big legs, the effort. He just looks a little crazy. And it's a bit of a tongue-twister to say MadMad Matt Murton real fast. But not stupid-sounding. Just hard to say. But he hasn't really lived up to the name this year, so it may have to change.

That's all I can think of right now. I'm sure there's more, but I'm typically drinking when these are created, and now that some of players have moved on I can no longer remember them. I'll try harder from now on.
PEACE!!