40 days and 40 night

Well well well. Looks like it high time I built myself an arc. I'm sure everyone by now has heard about the terrible flooding and rain problems were having up here in New England. It's really bad. I've been here for just over 5 years and I've never seen anything even close to this. Granted that's not a long time. But long enough to see what is in the realm of normal. We don't even get this much rain during the hurricane season! We'll get a few days in a row when the tail end of a 'cane blows by, but that's about it. Luckily for me, my little shore town isn't flooding too badly. The low spots are filling up, but being right on the water helps to keep the flooding down.
However, all the time trapped inside over the weekend gave me some time to think about ways to adapt to the increase in water. It looks like in a couple weeks the entire area will be under-water. I'll need to have a plan in place to survive in that new and foreign world.

1) The easiest would be to steal some of the Ducks from the Boston Duck Tour people. Of course, they just stole the concept of their tour from the Wisconsin Dells, so stealing from them would be morally okay. I'd really be doing my homeland of the MidWest a favor! Here's a link to the Dells' tour in case you don't know what a Duck is:
http://www.wisconsinducktours.com/

2) Grow gills. Now I know this sounds crazy. And it sounded crazy to me when the bottle of Budweiser started talking to me and suggested it. But then his 8 empty buddies joined the conversation. They really laid out a low-risk plan for growing gills. I have a hard time remembering all of the details, but it centered around rigging the microwave to operate with the door open. And jamming a Sam Adams bottle somewhere that I'm not sure I want to talk about. I wonder if Kevin Costner had to do the thing with the bottle for the movie. Maybe that's why his acting was so terrible.

3) Moving to higher ground. While this idea does sound intriging, I'd rather not move. My TV is a beast to get up and down a flight of stairs, and now I have a washer and drier to move. The whole idea just reeks of effort.

4) Stealing a riverboat casino. While I do hate moving, I love fishing and gambling. And what better place can you do both of those?! Obviously there are some serious roadblocks in this plan. Like how to get the casino all the way to my house. By the time that's possible, I may not care any more. And are the dealers going to be cool with living in random places? Would I have to catch my own shrimp cocktail? How much of a support structure would a helipad require? The high-rollers gotta get in somehow!

Clearly, I need to find some better plans. Cause the most promising of these is the gills plan. I also need to start getting out more. If only the outside world wasn't such a strange and frightening place...
PEACE!!