My new full-time job

I know, I know. It's been even longer this time than normal. But I have a good excuse! For those that don't know (which is probably 90% of you since I'm apparently very bad at informing people of stuff), I got laid-off from Teradyne back in mid-November. After surviving some 15 or so lay offs, including 2 earlier in 2008, I finally ended up on the wrong project at the wrong time. So instead of spending a few hours a week trying to look for a better job and having to make up excuses as to what I'm doing on interview trips, TER is now paying me to stay home and do it full time! And as a bonus, I have plenty of time to work on projects around the house and goof off every day.
However, while it didn't really bother me at first, turns out it did. While I wanted to leave anyways, it's a bit insulting to have a company that's leeching money so quickly to tell you you're not good enough to work for them any more. Especially with some of the jerks that got kept (No, not you, Tom)! I know that this wasn't a performance-based layoff, but it still hurt. Couple that with the fact that no one is hiring in December this year, and it sucked. Tough to keep your head up when you can't even get interviews anywhere.
But like a Christmas gift from the universe, things seem to finally be turning around. Got a couple interviews and know of a few things that should be opening up in January/February. Not sure if anything is going to end up being the job I'm looking for, but at least things are happening finally.

In brighter news, we're well in the heart of bowl season. I'm watching Northwestern take on Mizzou right now. Not a power-house match up here, but it's been a pretty good game. And because Northwestern is not only a fellow BigTen school, but also the home-town college for me, I have a vested interest in the game.
And with bowl season comes my week+ of horrible eating. For dinner tonight I've so far had 8 buffalo wings, a bowl of New York Cheddar and Herb Kettle Cooked potato chips (no that isn't unnecessary detail!), and now I'm eating chips and salsa. And a "few" beers. And tomorrow I have 3 more excuses to keep doing it! Not until 4pm, so I'll have to be productive in the morning and afternoon.

Now I'm sure everyone is reading this and wondering what I got for Christmas. I am the center of y'all's universe for crap sake! While there were many awesome gifts, the cornerstone of this year's crop is Rock Band 2 for our Wii. Unfortunately I haven't quite rocked out here at home. The drums are being UPS'ed as we speak, and I had a job interview this afternoon. I pretty much knew that there was a non-zero chance of me calling to reschedule the interview if I started rocking out today. So instead I'll just wait until Hayley goes to bed shortly and set it all up. Seems to be the perfect activity to try and do quietly while getting drunk. Am I right, people?!!

So until next time I'll just be sitting here at home living off of my fairly generous severance package and unemployment insurance. Have fun at work suckers!

Man vs Survivorman

Most people are at least aware of the 2 major survival shows on televsion; "Survivorman" and "Man vs. Wild". Many of those have watched at least an episode or 2 of either of them. Most of you that read this are also aware that my father and I do a remote wilderness camping trip in Canada every summer for 2 weeks. So you'd think that I'd be over-joyed that there are 2 shows that could be covering some important skills for us. But in the words of the immortal Lee Corso: "Not so fast!!"
Let me quickly get the non-viewers up to speed, while also prepping for where this is going. Survivorman is done by Les Stroud. He takes a few cameras and a couple basic things like a Leatherman tool and heads to remote areas around the globe with the intention of surviving for 7 days. Essentially he's mimicking the infamous "worst case scenario" of any trip to a remote locale. But he's out there all alone with his cameras and no help. "Man vs. Wild" is done by Bear Grylls. Bear takes a camera crew with him to remote locations and does incredible stunts and has wild adventures for a day or 2.
In 2004 when I first saw the trailer for Survivorman I was pysched. Here was a survival expert heading to a similar area and a similar time to when we do our camping trips. And it lived up to it's billing. I picked up quite a few little tricks we could use in the event of an accident. How to start fires correctly with just bark and sticks, what types of things you can eat, how to correctly set up shelter, etc. But the best part to me was that it was realistic. He's not doing anything you wouldn't really do if you were in a life-and-death situation. Namely, no unnecessary risks.
Bear does his show in the exact opposite way. While he's also trying to survive an extreme situation, he does non-stop risky things to create drama. Some things he does are good, but it's not realistic overall. But when you have a camera crew following you around and you're only out for 1 or 2 days you can do that. I know, Les apparently has a crew nearby that he checks in with every day, but they do not intervene in anyway during his week.
We've been very fortunate to have never gotten into any bad situations, although not without some pretty close calls. And there's only so much you can do to avoid that. What you can do is listen to the ranger when you go in and do what they tell you to. (Quick primer: We go into the Quetico Park. You stop at 1 of 6 entry stations to pay your fees and check-in and get some quick updates. What are the water levels like, any new dangers, accidents, fires, etc. We've then proceeded to go 7 days without seeing another human being on some trips. Typically it's 2 or 3 days b/t sightings, and even then it's typically just the glint of the sun off a canoe on the other side of the lake.) And yes, people that don't follow basic safety instructions don't always come back. ~4 years ago a guy drowned not 2 miles from where we typically camp. So I do know that if Bear actually tried to do most of things he does in a real survive situation he wouldn't last long. There are times when extreme measures are required, but certainly not on day 1 or 2. Climbing a rocky waterfall instead of hiking for an hour to get around it? Wreckless and stupid. Swimming under a log jam of unknown size in a canyon? Also stupid. These are the types of stunts that get people killed. When you're out there all alone a badly sprained ankle could be all it takes. Or a deep cut. A concussion. Any number of seemingly small injuries suddenly become a situation. And with all the dangers we face on our trips, that's what scares us most. Bears, violent thunderstorms, high winds, all have nothing on a simple sprain or infection.
In short, anyone that does outdoor activities should take the time to watch at least a few episodes of Survivorman. While the specific situation may not apply every time, the skills he uses are typically the same. Stay dry, stay warm, find food and water. The more ways you know how to do those things, the better your odds of survival are.

Winter Doth Approach

This year's World Series was actually pretty enjoyable for me. But still nowhere near the WS's of yore. I did really enjoy seeing a couple teams play small-ball and do the fundamentals in order to win. And every games except for 1 was right down to the wire. But I really just didn't care all that much about who won. I'm thrilled to see the title come back to the NL where it belongs, but I had no real connection to the Phillies. Good or bad. And nothing for the Rays except the knowledge that it's good for baseball to see a small market team full of kids make it to the show. Each of the last 5 years or so I've had either a team I liked, a team I hated, or some other great sub-plot to draw me in. Something at stake. This one? Not so much. So while I did enjoy watching the games, I felt no compulsion to stay up late to see who won each game and now I have kind of an empty feeling inside. Couple this with the fact that Purdue's football team is getting beat pretty much every week and not being able to watch hardly any Bears games, and I'm hitting a lull. The teams that are doing well I can't see; the teams that aren't I can. It's not fair.

In happier news, last weekend I finally used a 2-year old birthday gift from Hayley and went up for my "Discovery Flight" in a Cessna. It was really cool. I show up at the airport and spend a few minutes talking to the pilot about my background in regards to flying, what I want to do, and how the day will go. Then we stroll out to the plane and hop in. It was surprisingly cramped. Turns out a Cessna 172 doesn't have much room in the cockpit. Who knew?! I then got to taxi pretty much all the way from the hanger to the runway. It's actually a bit tricky to do. You can't use the steering wheel to do anything. It's all done by the foot pedals and a bit hard to get the hang of. Then pretty much as soon as we were off the ground he turned the controls over to me again. He guided me out to a safe area where we wouldn't interfere with planes coming and going and just tooled around a bit. I was much less aggressive than I thought I'd be. We had quite a bit of turbulence to deal with and the plane was quite responsive. So all the jostling and bouncing around took away a bit of my eagerness to really play around. He then let me bring it almost all the way in before taking control just long enough to touch it down. All in all, pretty awesome. And now I'm thinking seriously about getting my license. Trouble is it'd cost about $10k over the span of a couple months to get it. That's a tough pill to swallow right now. Even so, I've already thought about the possibilities of renting a plane to fly to Chicago for trips instead of relying on the major carriers. Or when we have to go to Long Island, that's just a 45-minute flight instead of a 4+ hour drive! Nice.
And with that, time to drift off to bed.
PEACE!!

2008 Campaign

I think something good has happened this election season. As much as I hate the election process we have in this country, I wanted to point it out. After having to sit through 2 elections where the republicans were forced to dance around every issue to protect Bush, we finally seem to be getting into real national-level issues in the debates. Talk on how we’re going to handle the 2 non-wars we’re involved in. Foreign relations with our current enemies and countries liable to become enemies if they aren’t handled appropriately. Details on the 2 candidates proposed tax systems. Turning around our sputtering economy.
During both of Bush’s campaigns it appeared that they had to talk about random crap to try and get an edge. Bush couldn’t speak intelligently on the standard things like the economy and foreign relations, so they had to fight about stem cell research and the place of God in schools. Essentially, moral issues that only affect a small population. And while I feel that some of those things are issues that could be used to select a candidate, they most certainly should not be the key issues.
Everyone has their own personal reasons for voting a certain way. We all have key points that we want reflected in our President. But there comes a time when you have to ask yourself if your reasons are selfish. You have to look at all the things a candidate stands for and decide where you need to make your compromises, and hopefully those compromises are the selfish reasons. The republicans have been very effective at getting people to do the opposite. They really convince people that you need to vote based on personal, moral issues instead of what’s best for our country. Hell, they got people to elect a President that crippled our economy and indirectly caused thousands of people to be brutally killed in the name of some petty moral issues.
So fortunately this election has so far been mostly free of that crap. Joe the Plumber was hopefully nothing more than a flash-in-the-pan hot button McCain used to avoid going 0-3 in the debates. The talk of the candidates’ former associates has been touched on here and there, but has been over-shadowed by more legit issues.
Living in Massachusetts comes with some ups and downs during these elections. One of the more frustrating issues comes from this being a clear Democrat state. There is no way a Republican could ever take the state. Therefore, my vote doesn’t really count here. I can’t really influence who wins, just pad numbers one way or the other. That sucks. As empowering as voting can be, it’s taken away when you know you can’t make a real difference. However, the up side is that I don’t have to put the same level of thought into my vote as I would in a swing state. And this year appears to be one where some thought would be required. I’m 75% sure of who would be the better President, but both sides have some policies that I really don’t like.
Obama’s tax plan is starting to worry me more and more. It sounds awesome on paper. 95% of the population won’t see an increase in tax (35% of which aren’t paying any to begin with). I probably stand to make out a bit better under his plan. And yes, the rich make more so they could be asked to chip in more. But is that really right? Some of those people fought and struggled to get where they are and deserve what they now have. Why should we take away a greater percentage of what they earn? Was America really founded on the idea that we all share everything we make? Hells no!! The founding fathers were all rich white guys that horded their money and never dreamed of having to give 50% of every dollar back to government. Shit, they would have left Britain in control if they knew that’s where we’d be today.
And why should Joe the plumber have to chip in more when he’s only making a quarter of a million dollars a year?! I mean, how can he afford to eat on only $250k/yr?!!

Ahh, that familiar sting of defeat

I had a venting write-up of games 1 and 2 of the Cubs NLDS all ready to go, but I never posted it and now it's pretty much a moo point. (no that's not a typo, figure it out if you want.) The Cubs completely fell apart and were swept by the Dodgers. And not in competitive fashion. They got beat like a red-headed step child riding a rented mule. They got Rodney King beat. They got...you get the picture.
Right now it's more shock for me. I'm mostly through my newly formed traditional bottle of champagne, which is taking the sting out of things tonight. After feeling like I jinxed the Cubs in 2003 by buying a bottle of champagne mid-playoffs, I decided that I'll now buy a bottle at the start of every season, then consume said bottle after the final out is recorded. If we win, it's a celebratory bottle. If not, I get what I have right now. Something tasty and bubbly to let the healing begin. And this is no sparkling white wine. I only want the best no matter how the season goes down.
Quite frankly, the Cubs got beat in every facet of the game. They allowed their starting pitching to lose game 1, their defense to lose game 2, and their (lack of) timely hitting to lose game 3. It's almost poetic in it's futility. And in some ways, the non-competitiveness of the games made them easier to take. It's not like game 6 of the 2003 NLCS where we were cruising along 5-outs away from our first World Series appearance since 1945 and then collapsed. No no, we were never really in the first 2 games. We were winning for a couple innings in game 1, but that was quickly fixed and the Dodgers never looked back. The last lead we had was the going into the top of the 5th in game 1. That's it. Last time. Not even close in game 2, and while we were close on the scoreboard in game 3, you could tell that it wasn't close on the field. We wasted every opportunity given to us. Any brief flicker of hope was extinguished by our futility. The Dodgers didn't beat us; we beat ourselves. In spectacular fashion.
I can't believe we actually hit 100 years. And I really thought this would be the year we did it. I allowed myself to believe again. All year long I thought that this would be it. And now I have to admit I'm not sure that we'll ever win it all again. I really hurts enough that I'm doubting things that much. It's even hard to blame it on the curse this time. There wasn't 1 or 2 moments that you can look back on and say that the curse got us. Maybe the curse was especially strong this year and forced the entire system to fail. I don't know.
And as far as I can tell, this whole October baseball thing is very over-rated. It's been nothing but pain for me in my life. Swept in the 1st round this year and last year. The painful and well-documented collapse in 2003. The beating from Atlanta in 1998. Luckily I don't remember 1984 and 1989, or this would be even worse! I guess it comes down the great debate: Is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all? And while I can't answer that right now, I should be able to give a good answer in about 56 weeks. I mean, we've got most of our starting rotation returning, some great young hitters coming up through the system, and lots of great young arms that gained experience this year. Next year, baby. Next year is going to be the one. I can feel it already.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for....breast milk?

This article consumed me for the first hour or so yesterday at work. I was just so flabbergasted that I couldn't function for a bit. I'm sure by now everyone's already heard and read about this, but just in case:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_breast_milk_ice_cream
It's hard to even know where to start with this one. There are so many obvious problems here that it's hard to focus and write something coherent.
I'll start with some simple fact-based things. The article points out that you need 1.5 gallons of milk to make 1 gallon of ice cream. Ben & Jerry's FAQ section reports that they make and sell 18 million gallons of ice cream every year, thus requiring 27 million gallons of cow's milk every year. That's alot of milk! Now then, how many cows do you need to do that? I don't know anyone in the dairy business, so I had to fall back on my good buddy The Internet. Seems that an average cow can produce about 8 gallons a day of milk. At 27mil gallons a year, B&J needs just under 74,000 gallons each day. Therefore, they need to get the milk of 9,250 cows every day to make ice cream. Alot of cows, but not unreasonable.
You'd think that being married to an OB-Gyn resident would give me an inside track on finding out how much breast milk a woman can produce each day. In the words of my boy Lee Corso, "Not so fast!". So I had to once again fall back on my good buddy. I'm guess you could get 32oz (2 pints) from a lactating woman every day. So if B&J really wanted to make a switch they'd need to get 296,000 women to provide their breast milk in order to make ice cream. Or put another way, it'll take 1 woman 6 days to produce enough breast milk to make a single gallon of ice cream.
So clearly this just cannot work from a logistics stand-point. But let's move on from that. Let's say they decided to do a small-batch run and could get the volume required. One thing you can count on from cow's milk is a consistent taste and nutritional quality (more or less). They are fed a very consistent diet and said diet doesn't vary much from farm-to-farm. That's not true with women. You can't control what they eat and therefore the quality of their milk. So you'll have a problem making each gallon taste similar and getting a good manufacturing process. If the fat content changes enough from batch to batch you're going to have problems. Women also haven't been bred for a good-tasting milk. So it's not like they can just swap it out and no one will known the difference.
Personally I'd eat it at least once. I'll try damn near anything once for shits and giggles. But most people wouldn't touch this stuff with a 10-foot pole. The mere thought of consuming breast milk disgusts most people. PETA was clearly just looking for a way to get themselves back in the spotlight in a less negative way. They've been beaten up a bit lately and needed something to change perceptions and get some support again. And they likely did it.
Not surprisingly, Opie & Anthony actually made some breast milk ice cream yesterday morning. Apparently an intern has a sister who's lactating and want kind enough to donate some. Not sure how good the interns are at making ice cream, but it was described as 'gamey' with a pretty terrible after-taste. But initially it tasted just like regular vanilla ice cream. So maybe there's hope that we'll see a special edition in the future. Of course, if Hayley and I ever spawn an offspring, you never know what could happen....

Why all the Negativity?

I finally reached a boiling-over point regarding this political campaign. I'm used to each party attacking each other, but I don't recall regular people and bloggers being so aggressive in attacking a candidate. Maybe it's just my friends, but I've been seeing a pretty steady stream of anti-McCain videos, blogs, articles, etc. These are the same people that will talk about how the republicans are being un-fair when they attack Barack for his policies and personal issues. If you say anything bad about him you're either a racist or you think he's a terrorist. But somehow it's perfectly fine to create a YouTube video that goes on for 5 minutes about how McCain is a war mongering monster that's just out to kill everyone else in the world.
I'm certainly not a fan of McCain, but I really don't hear people say much about what Barack is going to do besides "not what that facist McCain would do!". What's his plan to get us out of this economic funk? How does he plan to handle aggressive rogue nations like North Korea, Iran? What is he going to do about the health care situation? Medicare, health insurance, required or not? Can we get an accurate read on how many of his announced initiatives he'd actually be able to get through Congress and the Senate? I never hear any Obama supporters bragging about that. Or bragging on what he's accomplished in his political career so far. Really you only hear about what he did in college. And he did do some great things. But they didn't involve judging what your supporters really wanted and what compromises would be required to make it happen. Didn't involve dealing with other countries that really didn't like you.
"Luckily" for me my vote really doesn't matter so I don't need to get too involved. Massachusetts is so overwhelmingly democratic that it doesn't matter who you vote for. But the fact that Obama's supporters have been so negative and ruthless in their attacking of McCain has me worried. I think we may be getting into to situation where people will support him because they get sick of the relentless attacking of him on a personal and professional level. And not that they have Palin to take shots at it's getting even worse. It's pretty clear that she's horribly unqualified to be the VP of this county. You don't need to go out of your way to attack her and point it out. Maybe you should take that energy and use it to spread positive messages about Obama and Biden. Educate people on their policies and what they plan to do. Tell us about their history and how that should convince us that they are just blowing smoke up our asses right now.
So here's what I plan on doing; next time I hear anyone bad-mouthing McCain/Plain I'm going start drilling them on Obama/Biden's politics. See if they acually have real reasons for their choices and aren't just toeing the party line and picking the guys that "aren't Bush".

Couple Camping Stories

I know you're all eagerly awaiting to some most excellent stories from the camping trip. Trouble is, I need to wait for my dad to type up and send out this year's journal before I can really re-tell most of them. Yes, we keep a journal while we're there. It's amazing how much each day just blends right into the next when you don't. Since we stay in the same base camp for the entire trip, we don't have any geography references to date our memories. And even if we did, you tend to just forget alot of really great little things after a week. We've got hundreds of things that we both totally forgot about until we read through the journal. And it's usually the little things that really make me smile.
But I do have a couple bones I can throw out there today.
1) I know alot of people out there are probably dying to get their hands on a new and unique thigh workout. And I've got a great one you can do at home with $5 in equipment. Here's what you do...go get a small garden trowel (little shovel for those that don't know) and a roll of toilet paper (or some napkins that you "stole" from Hardees when you stopped for breakfast on the drive up to the Boundry Waters). Then just wait around until the next time you have to take a crap. When you finally do, go dig yourself a small hole in the yard and take a crap in it. This works even better if the ground is dirty and full of pine needles, there are mosquitos buzzing around, and you really have to go. Nothing is more fun then frantically trying to dig a hole deep enough for this job in an area with very little soil and, in the words of my dad, "mosquitos big enough to rape turkeys".
2) We actually saw the end of a rainbow and there most certainly didn't appear to be a pot of gold anywhere to be found. It was our last day in the Quetico and we were just chilling in camp while a collection of drizzly little clouds broke up an otherwise sunny day. While standing under the rain fly waiting one out we looked up and saw a quite magnificent rainbow arching right down to the water's edge on the other side of the lake. As the drizzle moved by the end moved out more towards the middle of the lake, then retreated back into the trees and beyond. We've seen some pretty amazing displays by nature up there, but that was definitely unique. I didn't even know it was possible to see the end of a rainbow. I figured it was just another part of the myth. But there it was, clear as day and landing right on the water. And as we joked about where the gold might be, the same guy that said that great line about the mosquitos says, "maybe this is just nature's way of telling us that this whole area right here is our pot of gold." Fortunately I've yet to see any crazy Leprechans chasing after me to get any of it back.

Back in Black!

Well, I'm finally back from the woods. It's really amazing what 10 days in a canoe completely removed from everything except nature will do for you. Strip away all the pressures and problems of your life, and everything is just perfect.
Granted it'd be considerably harder if we were living there full-time and all. We go up there with enough food and clothes for 10 days, not 10 years. We don't have to worry about caching food for the winter. Or somehow making and repairing our clothes. But that's not my point. When the sun comes up, we got up. When it went down, we went to sleep. The only thing we really had to decide on a daily basis was where we were going to fish and where we wanted to have shore lunch. Everything else just took care of itself. Rain, wind, cold, you can't control any of it. You just wake up, see what the day has given you, and go about your business doing what you need to do. If it's too windy to safely go out in the canoe, you try to fish from shore and find something else to do. Take a nap, read some of the newspaper we bring to start fires, explore the island (again). Once you stop trying to force yourself to do things that clearly can't be done, life gets pretty simple.
And once you stop running around so fast you start to notice all the great things around you. When was the last time you just took some time to watch the clouds go by? Or check out a storm front as it moves in or out? How about just watching another animal go about it's day? It's amazing what you can learn about the world around you once you start watching it and paying attention to how you fit in it.
Yeah, I'm going to be all mellow and reflective for at least the next 4 or 5 days. I come back all idealistic about what I want to do with my life, people I need to get back in touch with, changes I need to make, etc. And it all inevitably falls apart as soon as I get back to work. Probably by Wednesday of next week it'll all be over and done. But you never know. Sometimes these changes and thoughts stick with me.
And of course I'll be posting various stories and events from the trip as time goes on. And once Dad gets the pictures developed, I'll post some of those. I know, analog film! But when you have to travel 20 miles to get where you want to get, every pound counts. And neither of us wants to carry in extra batteries to power a digital camera for 10 days when analog works just fine. Pictures can't even capture 1% of the actual image, so we don't need it. The photo just serves as a way to remind ourselves and jog our memory. That's where the real image is. The sights, smells, sounds, etc all together.
But it is good to be back. No more crapping in a hole in the woods. No more wearing the same dirty clothes for 4 days in a row. No more having to slice up ~5 fish every day for lunch and dinner. Every normal activity becomes so much easier to do. Kinda like this! Sure beats trying to send smoke signals over the horizon to try and communicate with someone else.

Spinal Tap and Spiny Chicks

I think the guys from Spinal Tap designed the window fan we have in our bedroom. You may recall that they have amps that go to 11, so when they're at 10 and need some extra kick they have somewhere to go. We can do the same thing with our fan. If we go from 'low' to 'high' and that's still not enough, we can go all the way to 'super'! That's right, baby. Super!
Of course they skipped over 'medium' in the process. And that's what I find a little odd.
It's not like the cheap window fan market is so competitive and ruthless that you need to pull out all the stops to make a sale. So when you have only 3 settings, why go for low/high/super? Especially when 'super' isn't really all that spectacular. It's not like it's blowing us out of the bed when we go there. Shit, it barely even flutters the blankets. Still a great fan, though. Spins both ways, quiet, fits perfectly in the window. I just wish they hadn't pulled that Spinal Tap move.

Has anyone else watched the womens 10m platform diving? Anyone else a little sickened by those Chinese divers? They're like flesh-colored skeletons! All bony and scrawny. And of course they don't make any splash when they hit the water, it's like dropping a pointy steel rod from the platform! I don't want to take anything away from their skill at spinning and twirling in the air, but their size should be considered when the judges are grading their entry. Of course, you really can't start taking away from people just because they have a physical gift. Every Olympic-level athlete has been given a physical gift in some manner. Maybe it's a higher percentage of quick-twitch muscles for sprinters, Phelps' short legs/long torso/long arms, or extra flexibility for a gymnast. But still, these 15-y-o girls have such an advantage given that they have no shoulders and no soft tissue that it's not really fair.
And can we finally say that there is a conspiracy going on this time around? The Chinese have been involved in WAY too many controversies and have gotten too many breaks on the judged events. I'm not saying that the US is getting cheated. I think we've made legit mistakes that cost us medals and opened the door for controversies to be introduced. If we'd executed the way we should have, it wouldn't have been a factor. But the fact is that the Chinese are killing everyone when judging is involved and getting smoked when it's not. That just seems pretty fishy to me. And the Olympic committee is wisely not going to touch it with a 10-foot pole. Too much money is at stake for them and every future host country to seriously entertain the possibility of unethical behavior. They'll just sweep it under the rug and wait for it to go away on its own in 2 months.

Nuclear Bombs and Automatic Wipers

As I was reading through some tiny articles in Popular Mechanics covering some noteworthy breakthroughs, I hit one regarding the new IBM Roadrunner super computer that proves a point I’ve been making for a couple of years now. The Roadrunner is the first computer to break the petaflop barrier. That means it can do more than 1 quadrillion calculations every second. While it’s hard to get comparative info on consumer CPUs (meaning it takes more than 1 minute of google searching), that’s about 100,000 times faster than any computer you own.

But guess what its main job is going to be. It will be simulating testing of nuclear weapons. It was built for the Department of Energy’s Los Alamos National Laboratory to simulate the effects of something we hope to never use. I guess it’s nice that they won’t be doing any live testing of nukes, but there has to be a better use of the most powerful computer on the planet.

And that is what proves my point. Everyone complains about how much money we spend on the military in this country. But some of the greatest inventions in our modern history have come out of it. No other organization, be it public or private, has the money to fund these incredible risky and financially unsound programs. No one except the Department of Defense. Jet engines, supercomputers, communication technology, artificial intelligence, control systems, etc. Sure, some of the technologies weren’t created by the military alone, but they were sure funded by it. The Darpa robotic vehicle challenge? It may be public and private companies doing the bulk of the work, but only because tax money is footing the prizes and forming the competition and doing the prep work.

But naturally, there is a flip side to our modern world of computer automation. Not 2 pages later there was a 1-page synopsis of the recent B2 (stealth bomber) crash at an airbase in Guam. These are aircraft that wouldn’t even be able to get off the ground without the advanced computer power they have on-board. That’s not a new concept for today’s jets, but it is allowing more and more aerodynamically unstable aircraft to fly. And taking more and more control away from the pilots, so that in the event of a computer malfunction there is less and less they can do to recover.

And that’s exactly what happened to the most expensive aircraft we have. You can check out the full piece here if you like:

B2 Crash And... Crash Read #2

In short, water got in 3 of the 24 air data sensors that tell the computer things like air speed and altitude and caused a malfunction. Techs on the ground “fixed” it by recalibrating the sensors and everything checked out. When the sensors’ heaters were turned on the water evaporated and returned the sensors to a pre-cal working state. But now they were reporting bad data because of the new calibration settings. This confused the computer, it reacted incorrectly as soon as they were off of the runway, the plane stalled out and crashed. There was nothing the pilot could do to stop it with so little time to react.

I personally don’t even like my car to automatically do anything outside of engine tuning, let alone take over major driving functions. Automatic wipers, lights, traction control, steering ratio adjustment, suspension adjustments, it’s not for me. I prefer to be in control of what my car is doing, not the other way around. Does that make me old? (Anyone that answered ‘yes’, get ready to have my orthopedic back pillow jammed up your ass!!)

Learning Curve to Rock to.

While many people probably think this isn't true, I've learned something important in the past year of living with Hayley (in sin!). I've learned that we like to learn things in 2 very different ways. I like to try to figure things out with as little outside help as possible. She likes to have her questions answered so she doesn't have to figure things out.
I get this from my dad. Any time I had to ask him a question about something, he'd typically reply with something like "how do you think you should do it?", "how do you think it works?", and the like. He'd guide me along the way, but he really wanted to make sure I was using my brain to figure it out on my own. And I'm very thankful he did it. I learned quite a bit about how to figure things out and how to reason things. Probably the reason I became an engineer.
However, Hayley doesn't appreciate that. If she asks how something works, she wants to be told how it works. She doesn't want to spend time thinking it through and making guesses and what not. And no, she doesn't appreciate guessing incorrectly. (yes, I've officially crossed a line here and probably won't walk away unscathed at this point. So I might as well just finish the job...) My feeling is this comes from her desire to not be wrong. I'm not saying she's a no-it-all that always has to be right. Far from it. But she does enjoy being right and doesn't like being wrong. It's hard to get her to guess at anything for fear that she'll be horribly wrong in her estimation. Oh, she claims that's not the answer, but we both know it is.
Hmmm...I thought I had somewhere I was going with all of this. Learning...different styles... I don't know.
I've been giving the task of assembling the CDs to be used during our cocktail hour and the band's breaks. Hayley has given me some songs she wants to be on it, and does have veto power, but I feel I'm putting together one hell of a great set. I want to bring the rock for the cocktail hour, mellow it out during the breaks. No, that doesn't mean I'm bringing any metal to the party, although some Chimaira would really kick things up a notch. Some of my choices will seem a bit odd, but that's because I do have some random songs that I wanted to get in. Songs that are meaningful to me and I want played. I might be the only person who'll look up at the speaker and say "awesome" when they come on, and that's fine with me. It's my f'n wedding and I can do what I want to. Our wedding. It's ourwedding. My bad. And I've never been one to go with convention at any point in my life. Why should I stop just because I've been saddled with a ball & chain?! Pssshhh, that thing can't stop me; it can only hope to slow me down a little bit. And yes, I'll have copies available to anyone who'd like one.
Man, 12 days from right now I'll be married and partying down at the reception. At least I hope so!! I feel like I should be doing something more single-like than blogging and watching "Two and a Half Men". I have 12 days to go and I'm not putting it to any kind of good use. Kinda sad. Eh, whatever.
Oh right, I remember where the learning thing was going to go. I've also learned that we both fall prey to the game of "(S)he Said/(S)he Heard". Case in point...Friday afternoon I did something to my lower back, which is apparently made of some kind of cracker, and couldn't really walk so good all weekend. Yet the lawn really needed to be mowed. Hayley said, "Do you need me to mow the lawn for you?" I heard, "Would you like me to rip off your testicles and give them a quick spin in this food processor?" It hurt, but I mowed it. And then I laid down for a bit. Not cause it hurt alot, because I was tired. That's all. Just tired.
And no, I don't really want to know what Hayley is hearing as she's reading this. I should probably start working on an apology...

When 97 is Better than 117

I came to some good pondering yesterday while taking a shit and consoling myself after a brutal Cubs loss (12-7 to the Reds). I uttered to myself, “oh well, you can’t win ‘em all and it’s not like we’re going after 116.” 116 being the MLB records for wins in a season, set originally by the 1906 Cubs and tied by the 2001 Mariners. This then got me thinking about how those teams have done. I remember the Mariners getting bounced quickly by the Yankees in ’01 (4-1 after going to 5 games in round one vs. the Indians) and remember other teams in other sports get embarrassed in the play-offs after waltzing through the regular season. In fact, of the 14 best MLB season records of all time, only 5 ended up champions. So it would appear to be a detriment to walk through your regular season without any real challenges.

Even though at first that seems counter-intuitive, that makes perfect sense to me. I’m going through a similar thing right now with hockey. After not playing any live, competitive games for 11 months due to my surgery, it’s hard to stoke that competitive fire right away. It’s like you forget how to really focus and buckle down. In the case of baseball, when you’ve been a lock for the division for a month, you don’t really go balls-out in a losing game. Why risk hurting yourself when the only thing you’re chasing is a record that doesn’t mean much? So when you’ve got your back put against the wall suddenly in the play-offs, you struggle to really get moving and do something. You get sloppy and make mistakes. You get over-matched by players with ½ the talent.

In fact, you see a similar effect when teams have a long lay-off b/t playoff series. If you sweep in team in 4 games, then have to wait a week while the other guys go 7 games, teams are often noticeably sloppier in that first game. Some teams are affected more than others, but you can see it in pretty much everyone if you know to look for it.

On the flip side, you don’t want to have to scratch and claw your way into the playoffs right up until the last day. While your players are well versed in playing under pressure and finding ways to win, that’s a lot of stress on everyone and you start to wear down. In addition, you can’t take a week to get your pitching rotation. And that becomes very important in a 5-game series. If you have to use your ace in game 162 just to make the playoffs, you may only get to use him 1 time in your opening series. And all of your bullpen guys and position players are going to be tired and stressed from the race to the finish. Ideally you like to give your big guys a day or 2 off in that last week so they’re fresh. Not too many days, which should be obvious by now. (Re-read the previous paragraph if you don’t know why.) You want fresh arms, fresh legs, and fresh minds going into the playoffs. Fresh, but still knowing what it means to battle for a close game and win.

In case you’re wondering, as I was, how dominating the ’08 Cubs would need to be to tie their franchise’s own record…they’d have to go 61-9 the rest of the way to get to 116. So after winning at a 0.598 clip thus far (on pace for 97 wins), they’d have to jump to a .871 clip to tie their record. I don’t see that happening. Nor do I want that to happen. I want them to cruise to a comfortable NL-best record for the #1 seed, allowing them to give guys some needed rest, without losing their drive. I really don’t need a repeat of last year, and this year the playoffs won’t coincide with my sister’s wedding. That gave me a welcome distraction from the agony last year.

And everyone mark October 14 on their calendars. That’s the official 100 year anniversary of the last Cubs World Series Victory. I can’t give you an exact time yet, but I’m working on it. Seems they didn’t keep highly detailed box scores back in aught-8.

AL Pitchers Aren't Men

Nope, AL pitchers are apparently not real men. And while I've always pretty much believed that, it's finally been confirmed by an AL owner. Hank's Rant. And since reading is for suckers, let me be a bit more specific. Hank's feelings on the NL not using the designated hitter (DH):

"I've got my pitchers running the bases, and one of them gets hurt. He's going to be out. I don't like that, and it's about time they address it. That was a rule from the 1800s."

5-year-olds playing t-ball can run the bases without getting hurt. Position players do it thousands of times a year without getting hurt. Do some suffer freak injuries doing it? Sure. But it's a very small percentage. Like 1 guy every couple years.
And to his "rule from the 1800s" jab, the vast majority of baseball's rules are from the 1800s. Let's see if we can examine a few from the original rules published in 1845:

1. The ball must be pitched, and not thrown, for the bat.
2. A ball knocked out of the field, or outside the range of first or third base, is foul.
3. Three balls being struck at and missed and the last one caught is a hand out; if not caught is considered fair, and a striker is bound to run.
4. A player running the base shall be out, if the ball is in the hands of an adversary on the base, or the runner is touched with it before he makes his base; it being understood, however, that in no instance is a ball to be thrown at him.
5. Players must take their strike in a regular turn.

Those are all rules that are from the 1800s and haven't changed a bit. Have you ever heard Hank complain about the "3 strikes, you're out" rules after someone Ks to lose a big game? Or if someone is out at first on a routine ground ball because of rule #4? So why target the lack of a DH in the National League when the DH is the latest rules change to baseball, and put in to address the "dead ball era" and generate more offense. That was addressed via a change to the height of the mound in 1969, and through modern advances in strength training and bat technology. Batters today work out year-round to work on their baseball skills, as opposed to having normal jobs in the off-season as in days of yore. Modern bats are lighter and stronger than ever before, meaning they can swing faster and the ball jumps off of the bat like never before.
I've never liked the DH rule. It just seems silly that 1 player on a team is allowed to become a 1-trick pony.
It's not football; you don't have a 2-platoon methodology. I recently heard it put even better: "No player should be allowed to show up to the ballpark and not even need a mitt." Yeah, these guys can hit. And yes, most pitchers can't. But some are actually pretty good hitters. And the majority of the rest enjoy going up there and doing what every other player on the team gets to do, even if they aren't so good.
It also adds a whole new level of managerial skills to the game. If it's a close game in the 7th and the pitcher's spot is coming up, do you pinch-hit for him and go to the bullpen? Or how about when you bring a reliever in mid-inning. If you know the 9-spot is coming up your next time at bat, you could insert the relief pitcher somewhere else, substitute for a position player in the 9th spot to replace whomever was in the spot the pitcher is now. For you AL guys, it's what's referred to as the double switch.
I understand Hank is frustrated at losing one of his best pitchers. But don't shit on what amounts to baseball ethics because your players are girl. Check that, even girls can run the bases without getting hurt. I guess he feels his pitchers all deserve to be in the Special Olympics. Those are really the only people I can see regularly hurting themselves jogging on flat, manicured ground. But hey, who am I to criticize someone who's put together far and away the highest payroll in baseball to build a 3rd place team.
Done and done.

Men are from Mars, Lesbians are from Lesbos.

Seriously. There is a Greek island, Lesbos.
I first heard about this via Opie & Anthony a few weeks ago when the citizens of said island were complaining about the direction their name has gone. How about you feel if your nationality shared a name with the potentially hot homosexual pairing?! But alas, my memory doesn't really work yet when I'm driving to work so I forgot all about it. Until today! I forget when and where it came up, maybe lunch, but it did.

Since I know most of you only read enough of the wiki page to figure out if I was full of shit or not, I'll fill you in with some details. To try and keep things clear, I will use the good English practice of capitalizing Lesbian when talking about the nationality and won't capitalize lesbian when talking about the sexual preference. Yes, this is just so I can make the easy jokes.

Now it's not a completely random association between the island and female homosexuality. Seems like quite a few of the poems penned by Sappho, who was a Lesbian, showed some strong sexual feelings towards other women. This Lesbian might have been a lesbian!! And so the link b/t Lesbos and woman-on-woman action was formed. Much to the demise of the Lesbos' current residents! Seems they're getting a little tired of it. The pilgrimages by lesbian couples, the laughs and taunts, the mocking from the other Aegean islands.
In fact, they're so sick of it, they've decided to sue lesbians to stop them from using their name! Lesbians vs. lesbians They claim that allowing gay women to use their nationality to reference themselves is insulting to their identity. Even worse, how do you explain that to a small child? I'm sure most children are going to get curious about why all those strange, non-Greek women are calling themselves Lesbians. Or is it lesbians? To quote one of the Lesbians involved in the trial:

"I have a hard time explaining to my daughter that we Lesbians are not homosexuals. My mother, my sister and my daughter are all Lesbians and it's incredible the amount of ridicule they suffer because of this,"

So true! So very true.
Lucky for everyone involved the court is committed to getting us a verdict within 2 months. Which then creates a pretty sizable problem of policing their decision, should it go against the lesbians. How do you stop the rest of the world from using it? I still say WWF when talking about the wrestling organization, and that's much less entertaining than thinking about young, sexy lesbians! Do you walk around handing out tickets to everyone that uses lesbians? Will people still click on spam emails advertising hot, soapy, Lesbians? I'm sure the island does have some lookers, but probably not what they need to have to support a porn business. Anna, you reading this? What is the legal precedent here?
And what's next? Is someone going to go after NAMBLA next? How would you even find members to sue? They aren't exactly an "out-there" group.
But don't fret people. I'll be sure to keep everyone updated on how it goes. Is anyone interesting in creating a Lesbian vs lebian betting pool?

Wrong on so Many Levels

I'm finally ready to share a disturbing event I was a part of last week. It was early in the day. I had just gotten to work and went to my yahoo home page. There was a headline of a story that implied there were pictures of the Pussycat Dolls dressed inappropriately. How could I resist?! So I go there to check it out and sure enough there was. But right next to them in the gallery was a picture of a...portly girl clearly taking her turn on the 'red carpet' at some event. She is apparently some big name in rock, yet I'd never seen her. Beth Ditto.
I proceed to do what any normal person would do and I see if wikipedia can help me out at all. Of course it does. Singer of a band Gossip. Lesbian and outspoken activist for gay rights. In a relationship with a "transman". At this point my brain realizes that we may be in trouble. Yet in my pre-coffee daze I stupidly keep reading. Mark isn't on GoogleTalk yet, so what else can I do?! Until I get to this mind-stopping quote:
"Ditto posed nude for On Our Backs, a women-run lesbian erotica magazine. "It was a big moment in my life," she told Curve magazine. "It was kind of a radical thing to do. I got my period just 10 minutes before we got there, and I was totally bleeding. I was doing it with my tranny boyfriend, who I’m in love with, and I was totally bleeding — how radical is that? — and I’m a fat person, and I’m a femme. It felt really good."
After recoiling in hour at what I had just read, Mark finally showed up and said 'hi' at the exact wrong moment. And after I share that lovely quote with him, he decided to fire back a shot of his own. This:


Touche. I proceeded to stare blankly at my screen for a good 30 seconds while my brain rebooted enough for me to get that awful image off my monitor.
Oh, did I mention that she also doesn't shave her pits or wear deodorant? Cause somehow not wearing deodorant is a feminist thing. Smelling like a bum in summer when you're out in public is her way of showing that she won't be oppressed by men.
And of course there's the issue of her weight. I'm thrilled she can be confident and happy even those she's at an unhealthy weight. That's just awesome. And she smokes. Even better! Why she needs to flaunt that, I really don't know. If I were to put on my psychology pants, I'd say she was over-compensating or she realizes that without doing that no one is going to give 2 shits about her, save for her friends and family. But certainly no media coverage for her activism. But maybe that's just the pants talking. They are known to do that. Why she can't maintain a healthy weight and still maintain her identity, I'll never care. But here we are. I'm no model, nor do I want to be. There's no way I can eat and drink the things I love and pull it off. Not until I can score a high-paying job that let's me work out and play sports all day. While those do exist, I'm horribly under-qualified for them. But what I can do is eat well and exercise and not keep myself at an unhealthy weight. But I think we've covered that ad nausem already.
So yeah, that was the opening to a morning last week. What morning I'm not sure. I've really tried to forget as much as I can. But alas, enough lingered that I had to find alternate outlets. I'm a wizard when it comes to ignoring and burying bad emotions. (does Jack ring a bell to anyone?) Why am I sharing this now? Cause I like to spread the pain around. You hurt me, I'll hurt a bunch of my friends.
ENJOY!!

Cubs-Dodgers Musings

So I made a few observations last night while watching the Cubs game (10:40p start) and having a few...adult beverages.
Juan Pierre, ex-Cubs CF, current Dodgers LF, is built like a human version of a Cheetah. Seriously. He's got a tiny head, long skinny body, and he's fast as all hell. All he really needs is to grow a tail and start chasing down and eating live gazelles. Wouldn't that be some funny shit to see on the field.
Bob Brenley, in all his wisdom, right after watching some defensive high-lights from the previous game: "Cubs are in the low middle in the league in fielding %, but they make lots of high-light reel plays. " That's typically the way it goes for both players and teams. Alot of the guys that win gold gloves and make SportsCenter all the time just tank some easy plays. Their raw numbers are usually not that great. But everyone lets them off the hook because 'they try to make plays on balls that the average fielder can't even get to." Same things with teams in general. The ones you see making tons of amazing plays are never the ones leading the league in percentages. And they usually blow a bunch of games when they boot some easy plays or make an error trying to make some hero play.
Cubs pitcher Sean Gallagher's name is a palendrome with 'her' on the end. Just something I noticed.
Jeff Kent looks like he'd be a terrible hitter. Stands there pretty much straight up, standing virtually still. Just an old white guy with a mustache standing in the batter's box like he couldn't hit a little league fastball. And then next thing you know he cranks one over 400ft away. It's eerie. He's the opposite of Ken Griffey Jr.'s sweet graceful swing, and yet the results are pretty much the same.
Len, after a replay of the BoSox-Rays fight: "Looks like Crisp was getting pounded by more than just 1 Ray!" Same thing was probably true later that night. Just swap "Ray" for something more...masculine.
Later in the night when Jeff Kent came up, the stadium guys played Santana's "Oye Como Va". This for a guy has been accused quite a few times of being a racist. Bonds did it back in the day, other team-mates have made the same hints. Seems like an odd choice of music choice for him. I'm not saying he is or isn't, just that maybe they should have thought that out a little bit better. Maybe they could have gone with some Skynard, or maybe a little country-western piece. Just saying.
But alas, the Cubs ended up losing the game 3-0. Not a great showing, but the LA pitcher did seem to be really on his game. Made our guys look pretty bad. But hey, even the best team in baseball has to lose a game once in awhile. When you're riding a 9-1 streak, you're bound to drop to 8-2 at some point. But today is a new day and should be another win. We've got Zambrano going against Lowe today so I feel pretty good.
Done and done.

Rain, rain don't go away!

You know what's weird? Now that I'm trying to grow grass I find myself rooting for rain. If I had my way it'd rain pretty much every day during the week. Not the weekends, cause I've got baseball to play every Sunday! But I was sitting at work and looking out the window watching it rain and actually said to myself, "Huh, this should be real good for the grass. Nice long, slow rain." Hopefully it'll keep this up from time to time so I don't have to water so often to keep the new grass from getting burned up. Summer is going to be a real challenge.

In the words of Mark: "Never trust anyone driving a ZipCar." Why not? cause these are people that don't drive very often and are typically REALLY bad drivers. Bad even when compared to the rest of the drivers here in Boston! I bring this up after almost being hit by a damn moron in a ZipCar SUV on my way to Target today. They were in the left-turn only lane but apparently didn't really want to be there. Oh yeah, and they got really deep into the intersection, even on a red arrow, before deciding that they needed to be in a straight lane. So what do they do? They just decided to floor it and try to squeeze in b/t me and the UPS truck in front of me. And yes, there was a median on the other side they had to dodge. Putting themselves in a position to hit either me or the median doing about 30mph. If I hadn't swerved over towards the right lane a bit at the end, they would have clipped my left-rear quarter panel pretty solidly. And of course they act like I'm the jerk. They don't know how to drive and follow really simple traffic signals, and clearly can't just wait for 30 seconds when there's an opening to change lanes into and I'm the jerk. But that's just kinda how it goes out here. People are just entitled and self-absorbed and just can't be expected to show any respect or consideration for their fellow man. But what can you do.

What I'm going to do is drink a few (dozen) beers and watch game 6 of the Stanley Cup finals! Featuring a fellow Bison , Bret Lebda. Well, 1/2 Bison since he only was there for 2 years before moving to Ann Arbor. The NW suburbs of Chicago isn't exactly a hot-bed of hockey, so that was a good move. Former NHL-er Bubba Berenzweig made a similar choice our sophomore year and moved to CT to attend a hockey-based prep school. Paid off well after he was later a captain at UMich, won the Ken McKenzie trophy in 2000 as the best American-born player in the IHL, and played a few years in the NHL. So now I've got 2 reasons to root for Detroit to win. Lebda and ex-Blackhawk Chris Chelios. 3 reasons if you include what the Penguins did to the Hawks in 1992, which I do.

Ken McKenzie Trophy

Okay, just something short and quick cause this article kinda pissed me off:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24920462/

And people wonder why it's so easy to fool the average American consumer. I'm not saying people have unlimited amounts of money to pay for gas. But anything you put in 1 week and don't use will be just sitting there in the tank for you next week. It doesn't magically expire Sunday night and go back to empty. So come on, take the extra $4 hit and buy an extra gallon. If you don't use, you can just buy 1 less gallon next week and save $4 then. The article mentions the potential damage to your fuel system if you're running dry. What they don't mention is the fees that AAA charges to come out with a tank of gas. Not only do you have to pay a premium for the gas they're putting in (probably $5-$6/gal), but you also have to pay their service fee for driving out there. So while you may think you're saving money, you're just royally screwing yourself by taking the risk. And a seemingly silly risk for the reason above regarding roll-over gas (for all you people that only understand cell phone-speak).
{Jarod decides to skip roughly 18 comments that all center around properly budgeting your money. But since they're all things that have been said already in previous posts, he just walks away to start working on dinner.}

Home Ownership Year 1...Part 2

One of the biggest things I've learned is that there is a constant list of things that need to get done. And if anything is going to get done you have to do it yourself. There's no landlord you can call and no maintenance guy that's going to come do it. I personally like that. I've been waiting for a long time to start doing the things I watched my dad do growing up. I just didn't realize how long the list would be. Since we own the place, we can do whatever we want. So all those times I walk around thinking, "Gee, I really wish we had xxxx," means anything item just got added to the list. We didn't have a water spigot on the outside of the house. 1 trip to TrueValue, some masonry work, some copper pipe work, and several hours of sweaty work later we do. We don't like the size of our bedroom closet, that's on the list. No electrical outlet outside? List it. We don't like where the attic entrance is and the fact that we don't have a linen closet. List it. Cable TV wiring upstairs sucks. List it. The soundproofing b/t us and the neighbors isn't as good as we'd like. List it. The front and back yards don't look so good. List it. It just goes on and on like that. All the time. It's great that I get to do home improvement projects, I just wish the list wasn't growing so quickly. I just can't keep up. Granted I'm not the most motivated home improver you'll ever meet, so it's not like I'm killing myself everything weekend to knock things off the list. I like to use my weekend to relax, not busting my hump building closets over the stairwell.
I also suddenly feel like I'm a part of the community instead of just living somewhere. I want to get to know the neighbors. I follow the local town news. I make wild claims of becoming a fan of the high school football team (which I will do this coming fall!). I know stores and buildings and can notice when subtle things change and comment on it to myself. I'm not in the 'have you seen what they did to the old Davidson place' league yet, but maybe someday.
But all in all it's been great. It was just a great feeling to sign those papers and take those keys to your first house. It's a crushing blow when I look at the monthly mortgage statement and actually think about the number on it. It's big and it's only gets a wee bit less big every month.
Hmmm...this didn't end as insightful and memorable as I hoped it would. Oh well. Besides, I should probably get Hayley to help me label the circuit breakers while she's home and not doing anything work-related. Aka, cross something off of my list.
Done and done.

Home Ownership Year 1

Hayley and I are nearing our 1-year anniversary of buying our condo and I’ve been reflecting on everything I’ve learned over the course of that first year. Everything from failed projects to stunning victories, and there’s been plenty of both. So it’s time to start sharing some of those, probably over a few posts so none get too long. We’ll see. My short attention span might kill it after just 1.

Now that I have an actual yard (front AND back), I have a new appreciation for what goes into growing a nice carpet of green grass. As in, I haven’t quite gotten there even after all of my work to date. I’m far from a yard pro and didn’t really know anything about growing a decent yard when I started. And the former owner didn’t do me any favors by letting the entire front yard become nothing but crabgrass and the backyard become very thin and patchy (with a good dose of crabgrass). I have managed to significantly improve the backyard with constant re-seeding and watering, but resigned to just re-starting in the front. I raked out all of last year’s dead crabgrass, turned over the soil, and started from scratch. Now I’ve got a patchy collection of grass going up there, but at least it’s a start. It’ll probably be another year or 2 before it’s filled out and ready to battle weeds on its own. The back yard is slowly but surely getting better. There are still quite a few thing spots, but those are filling in little by little. I still need to rake out some dead weeds from last year to give the new grass a better shot at growing. Poor seeds can’t see any sun! And of course I spend lots of time pulling new weeds. Until the grass thickens up a bunch more it won’t be able to choke out weeds before they can get a foot-hold. But that gives me a great excuse to go outside and play in the grass on a sunny weekend afternoon. And I just scored a free electric lawnmower! Thanks again, FreeCycle Watertown! So now the taller weeds that could evade the “reel mower” don’t stand a chance. That means I’m much better equipped to prevent this year’s crop of crabgrass from going to seed.

The biggest thing I’ve learned is that every project takes at least twice as long as I/we think it will. Some of that is due to inexperience-driven estimation problems. Some is due to my still-growing pool of tools and skills. Growing up my dad instilled in me pretty much everything I needed, tool and knowledge, to tackle minor repair jobs and basic things. How to properly use pretty much any tool, painting, drywall repair, etc. But being able to apply those basic skills as a part of a much larger job is trickier. And many of those skills are a bit rusty from not needing them in years, or even decades. So while I know how to do various things, it takes longer than normal because I haven’t done it in so long. However, a very important factor I’ve picked up is that spending a little extra time planning and thinking beforehand pays of in triplicate later. Sometimes it’s hard to go slow and it seems like you’d be better off doing instead of planning, but you never regret that later. I learned that when my dad helped with the dishwasher install, and applied that with the hardwood floor install. Being very diligent about cutting and planning each row of flooring definitely paid off in the end. And it came in handy last weekend when I installed the water line to the fridge for the ice maker/filtered water output. No leaks, no mistakes, no extra holes in the floor, no busted pipes, nothing. Just clean, cold water and ice comin’ out the front of the fridge.

So until a possible next time….done and done.

Washington Just Wasting Time

So once again the House of Reps and the Senate are just wasting our money and everyone's time. Seems like they only things they do is go after sports teams/players and try to break our economic mold. They have no business getting involved in the sports/entertainment industry, so I'll just walk away and save that for another day. I'll stick to a better topic; high gas prices.
They decided that it would be a good use of tax payer money to make the oil execs fly in to Washington to explain why they are simply following the laws of supply and demand. Why are oil companies making record profits? Because Americans, and the world in general, are using more oil every day than ever before. The supply hasn't even come close to keeping up with the demand. Therefore the price of oil will just keep climbing further and further until we stop using so much f'n oil. And those that provide an increasingly rare commodity will keep getting richer and richer all the while. But of course that's not good enough for Washington. They expect the oil companies to just be happy with meager profits so Joe Schmo can fill up his giant, fuel-wasting truck at a reasonable cost while he drives alone on the 50 mile drive to work. And actually, if said oil companies were to intentionally lower their prices and make less money in order to help people, they would be sued by their shareholders. All those CEOs have a board of directors, shareholders, employees, and their own families to answer to. They can't give their employees nice raises if they slash in their profits. The board of directors has to answer to angry shareholders when the stock price and dividends start dropping because they wanted to be nice.
I understand that the problem goes beyond fuel for cars, trucks, semis, etc. Heating oil has seen the same price increases as fuel because of the jump in crude prices. However, being a free-market commodity it faces the same laws of supply and demand. Heating oil and gasoline are coming from the same $130 barrel of crude oil. If the government if so concerned about home heating oil prices they need to make that a government-regulated commodity like water, sewer, and electricity. That's the only way you can ensure that heating oil prices are kept at a reasonable level. Just wait and see what happens to those prices as we get closer to the infamous Peak Oil. Then we'll really have some fun. (No, I'm not saying we're on that doorstep. We've clearly got some room to go, as we do keep pumping an ever-increasing amount of oil every day.)
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If people want to get the price of gas to go down they need to use less of it. Lower the demand and the price will follow. Since we clearly aren't going to drive less or drive more fuel efficient cars, we should focus more effort to alternative fuels. Ethanol, why delivering less energy per gallon and requiring quite a bit of energy to create, is a good start. But even there we would need some extremely expensive upgrades to our current pipelines and gas stations in order to safely dispense alcohol. That shit would eat right through the current infrastructure. But it would be a step in the right direction and demonstrate that people are serious about finding alternatives to gas. Hybrids are another good movement. And as more and more get built, the auto companies learn more about how to make them cheaper and better. Better batteries, more efficient ways of delivering power to the road, more efficient ways of capturing kinetic energy during braking, etc. So there are some positives on the horizon.
If you're hurting from your gasoline bill and need something you can do right now, slow down. Every mph faster you go your mileage drops. In fact, you can estimate that for every 5mph over 60mph you go you're mileage drops enough to effectively cost you an extra $0.20/gal. So if you pay $3.80/gal and drive 70mph, you can instead drive 60mph and effectively pay $3.40/gal. But I'm sure that 10 minutes you shave off your commute by doing 70mph is worth it, right? If that's not good enough, carpool. That'd be a quick way to cut your gas bill in half or more. If you've got 2, 3, 4 people splitting the tab, that's less money than you're all paying today. Not as convenient, but at some point the cost of gas will exceed the convenience fee you're willing to pay to all drive alone. You could also use public transportation. Not a station close enough? Buy a bike to bridge the gap. That also requires some sacrifices, but every inconvenience has a price tag. What's it cost to not ride a bike and shower at work? $100/wk? $200/wk? At some point the cost of gas will make it worth it.
Oh, and that gas tax holiday they're proposing will just make things worse. Lower prices = higher demand = even higher prices when the holiday ends. So if they do it, enjoy your $3 gas or whatever it ends up. Cause you'll be paying $5/gal when that holiday ends and everyone's demand is above what it is right now. Simply economics. How about we show Washington that we do know basic economics and pressure them to stop wasting our times with crap that doesn't actually solve the problem.
Done and done.

Compression Short and Digital Music

I’m just going to put this out there; I love wearing compression shorts. (For those that don’t know what I mean, essentially spandex shorts.) While I’ll gladly wear any pair, I like the heavier grade stuff. No thin, wimpy spandex for me. If it wasn’t for the fact they…how should I put this…have a negative effect on the comfort of the man bits after awhile, I’d wear them every day instead of boxers! Just so you don’t’ think this is more than just quasi-random, I changed into my hockey undergarments at work tonight, since I head straight from work to the rink (via the batting cage). So I was strolling around work for ~30 minutes in my baggy shorts and compression shorts. It was great. And now I finally can confirm that Tiffany was right. Heaven really is a place on Earth, and today that place was in my pants. Giddy up.

Okay, moving on to things that don’t directly involve my genitalia.

I’m finally converting all of my CDs to digital. WMA files, to be exact. I thought about doing mp3, but from everything I can gather WMA rips at a noticeably better sound quality at the same file size. It’s a long, arduous process consider I have something like 230 CDs. But I’m trying to do at least a few every night, more when I have some down time, and eventually I’ll get through it.

This started as me just burning a few so I’d have new material to get on my non-Ipod for the gym. But as I’ve been meaning to do this to keep a backup, it quickly blossomed. Now I’m protected against the next time someone steals my car, takes all my shit, and burns the car. I lost some CDs that just can’t be replaced and that kills me. Of all the things I lost in that ordeal, probably 3 CDs were the worst. A good chunk of really good college memories were lost for good.

Now that won’t be an issue. If someone steals all my shit, I’ll just burn some CD-Rs and motor along like nothing happened. And I have a virtually unlimited amount of stuff to put on my gym mix. A 2GB digital player will hold a lot of shit. 333 songs at the rate I’ve been ripping them, more if I didn’t crank up the sampling rate to the max.

It’s also serving as a great stress test for my CD drive. I wonder if it’ll make it through all the CDs, or crap out before I get there. My money is that it won’t even bat an eye at this, but who knows. Either way, combo drives are a dime a dozen nowadays, so it’s no biggie even if it does crap out.

Apparently I’m more wiped out from hockey than I thought, so I’m just stopping here. Seem remembering things that happened 30 minutes ago is too much for me, so it’s time to just call it a night. And yes, its hockey and not the scotch I had when I got home.

Done and done.

Really Annoying Commercial

I’m really starting to get annoyed by a commercial that plays quite often during Cubs games on WGN. (Not sure if this speaks very highly of the demographic they expect to be watching!) It’s a new weight-loss pill that’s on the OTC market. The annoying part is all the testimonials they show and one in particular. They have a middle-aged black woman (with golden blonde hair for good measure) talk about how easy it was to lose weight on their product. Her big closing sentence: “You just…can’t…do it…alone!” Shit like that is like nails on a chalkboard to me. No, you CAN do it alone; you’re just too lazy to do it. Losing weight is simple math. If you burn more calories than you put in you lose weight. If not, you gain weight. Doesn’t matter what diet you go on, the caloric math is identical. If you go on Atkins and eat 3000 calories of chicken breast and only burn off 2500 calories a day, you’ll gain about 1 lb each week. If you eat instead ate 2000 calories of pure carbs every day, you’ll lose about 1 lb each week. People that can’t lose weight are either too lazy to increase their caloric burn through exercise or too undisciplined to limit their eating. Period. Bad knees and can’t run? Stop eating double portions and/or work with a trainer to find exercises you can do. Don’t want to give up your fatty, salty, fast food? Better become good friends with a treadmill.

Maybe my annoyance is partly due to the fact I usually under-estimate my achievements. I figure that if I could do something it really can’t be that hard. So the fact that I could lose about 20lbs in 1 year without doing anything drastic tells me that really anyone should be able to do it. Given that, I get really annoyed when people are convinced they just can’t do something that looks pretty easy to do to me.

It’s really just another sad commentary on our society. People have this strange desire to have a pill that fixes everything. Why put forth even minimal effort when they can do less and just pay a bunch of money for a pill?! Don’t worry about the cost, the side effects from short- and long-term use, or the fact that the pill is probably worthless at best. Just like herbal supplements, a lot of these infomercial-type products don’t require FDA approval. Thus, they don’t have to back up any of their claims. They don’t have to contain any of the active ingredients they site, or prove that the form the ingredients are in can be digested and absorbed by the body.

I grew up being taught the notion that you didn’t really need a pill for anything. That includes minor aches and pains. Obviously I don’t strictly adhere to this, and there are always exceptions for more extreme situations, but I try to avoid taking any medicine for as long as I can. If you see me taking some Advil you can bet that something really hurts. Hayley had to fight with me to get me to take some Tylenol when I had a fever of only 103F. Had she not been at work at the time and becoming very worried about me, I wouldn’t have done it. But that’s just me. My sister is the exact opposite. Anytime she’s less than 100%, she tries to find something she can take to reverse it.

Anyways, I got nothing better to post and I’ve tried unsuccessfully for a couple days to rewrite this to be interesting, so I’m just going to post it. I’ll see if I can do better next time. Just don’t hold your breath hoping.

Movie Review: Last King of Scotland

Here is my official movie review of “Last King of Scotland”. Mind you, I’m not trying to be anything like a real, quality reviewer. But I figured I might as well start doing movie reviews here as well as just blathering on like normal. Keep in mind, I do give away various things in this review, so don’t read if you want everything to be a perfect surprise. Maybe I’ll learn to give a non-spoiler review in the future. But today is not that day. So without further ado…

I liked the movie. But I didn’t love it. Nor did I like it as much as everyone else apparently did. The acting was phenomenal. Forest Whitaker was simply amazing as Idi Amin. I can’t remember any scene in the movie when I wasn’t 100% sold on the character. It never seemed like he was acting, but that you were watching the real person on the screen. James McAvoy was almost equally good as Dr. Nicholas Garrigan. It possible he was just as good, but just had a less challenging roll with which to work from.

My problem with the movie is the way they end up glazing over a few of the seemingly important plot elements. The first 15 minutes of the movie really moves fast; but not in a good way. The director, Kevin MacDonald, for some reason chose to just give you a small taste of various plot pieces before moving on to something else. I’m sure that it was done to save time for more important scenes, but it left me a bit unfulfilled. The dinner scene with his family, why didn’t they spend more time getting into the relationship between him and his dad? I’m sure there is some important insights that we could have used later to explain his choices. Then there was the relationship between Dr. Garrigan and Sarah Merrit (Gillian Anderson). MacDonald touches on this for 30 seconds, enough for you to realize something is going on, before tossing it away like a hot potato. In fact, the entire aspect with the free clinic was really underdeveloped. This clearly is an important element as he turns his back on them to take the job with Amin. I really think some extra time spent letting the viewers get involved with his relationship with his Dad and the commitment to the clinic would have made the middle portion of the movie better. At the very least it would have helped to better understand his thinking as he’s making the tough decision. The viewer would have had a more emotional connection with his actions instead of just watching and seeing it.

I also felt the end comes rather quickly. Just when things start to pick up and get exciting, they speed right to the conclusion. There is no prolonged tenseness and suspense the way I would have liked to have. Once minute everything is fine, the next minute he’s hanging up by his pectorals in the gift shop.

In the end, the acting really saved this movie for me. To be perfectly honest, Whitaker saved the movie. Without his performance I would have walked away from this movie very disappointed. So kudos to him. He deserved every last bit of praise he received for his work, and every last accolade. Would I recommend that everyone sees this movie? Yes. But not because the movie is great, just to see Whitaker. I now officially release him from my private dungeon due to his involvement in “The Crying Game”.

C-Scars and Friendly Refs

Because of Hayley’s chosen profession, I’m often sucked into conversations that I really have no desire to be in. However, I have learned that my dry, sarcastic wit and lack of thinking before speaking would make me a poor doctor. Case in point: Hayley and a friend were discussing how often they get women in the delivery room requesting that their cesarean scar be placed such that you can’t see it when they’re wearing a bikini. To them this is a no-brainer. Of course you want to do that! My first thought? That it would be funny to tell a certain group of these women that it’s not going to matter where the scar is since they really won’t have any business wearing a bikini ever again. And no, not just because they’re having kids. Lots of women return to their former shape after popping out a kid or 2. But clearly some of the women requesting this consideration are not going to fall into that category. Most probably didn’t have a bikini body before getting knocked-up and it’s all just wishful thinking. Or some other women mentioned it as something they need to request. Like when guys make sure their cars can be lowered, the trunk can fit a large subwoofer, and the wheel wells can hold 22s before they buy it. You’ll never do that stuff, but you like to make believe that you will. Anyways, I doubt that the patient in question would find that quip very amusing and instead of laughing would file some kind of lawsuit the very next day.

(Some of you may remember my suggestion that any time Hayley does a natural child-birth that she treat it like a QB going under center. Don’t just look under the curtain and give encouragement, bark out some pre-snap checks and go into a snap count! “Green 15! Green 15! Topper! Topper! hut HUT!” I think that’d be awesome, but apparently would just lead to a malpractice suit.)

I’ve identified another silver lining to my shoulder surgery rehab. While I couldn’t play hockey and do much at the gym and had plenty of free time, I started working as a scorekeeper for HNA (the hockey league I play in). You work the clock and fill out the score sheet (goals, penalties, shots, rosters, etc) and get $20 league credit for each game you do. One of the rinks is literally 5 minutes from my house, so it was a pretty easy gig. But this isn’t just about piling up nearly $1000 in league credit. There was something more important that should come out of this. I’m now on friendly terms with most of the referees that do HNA games, especially with 2 of the guys that do most of the games at the nearby rink. This should lead to some favorable calls for me and hopefully our team. Any questionable penalties should go my way and maybe even a question goal here or there. I’m not positive that the refs will tilt a game towards guys they’re friendly with but it really can’t hurt. They have to be less likely to call a ticky-tack penalty on someone they know. I’m looking forward to seeing how this all shakes out in July when the summer season starts up. I’ll have to start paying attention to what refs are calling what things for/against us. See if there is any difference in the calls depending on how well I got to know that set of refs. Don’t worry, there’ll be updates. I’d consider doing write-ups of the games, but I really don’t pay close enough attention to remember what happened the next day. I may offer to keep track of stats since the league does such a terrible job of that.

Done and Done.

Fat People Gots to Drink, too!

I've recently had a change of heart, which doesn't happen very often. Just like every hack comedian out there I used to take shots at obese people that would go to McDs and order a double BigMac with cheese and extra mayo, a super-size fries, but then get a tub of diet coke. I mean, do you really need to get diet at that point?!
But after thinking about it, every little bit counts. And I personally do the same thing, albeit on a much smaller scale. I eat extremely healthy 5 days out of the week so I can let loose guilt-free all weekend. I eat mostly natural foods, tons of fruit and veggies, proper portions, the works. But once I leave work on Friday all bets are off. Maybe there is a 12-pack of Bud that needs to be drank. And that large pizza sure ain't gonna eat itself! Nor will that bag of chips and jar of salsa. But but Sunday night when it's all tallied up, it all works out. I actually lost about 20lbs in a year doing that. Granted I kept my weekend binging to a minimum as well, but that's not the point.
I was talking to someone about how even the smallest change can make a big deal. Drinking iced tea (unsweetened) instead of 1 can of coke every week will shave 2lbs off your weight every year. Not much weight, but also a pretty minimal effort. Bumping that up to 3 cans per week and you've lost 6lbs. Or at least, that's 6 less pounds than you'd have gained otherwise. So by swapping out for the super-sized diet coke, our obese person just cut out about a 1/2 pound of fat they otherwise would have put on. That's a 1/2 pound per super-size coke. Non trivial when you think about how often they're doing it every year.
So there you have it. An official change of opinion. I'm now fully supporting anyone and everyone who's doing at least something to be healthier. It'd be nice if you didn't swap out high fructose corn syrup for potential carcinogens, but I guess we'll all have to settle for baby steps.

I also got to thinking about how far I'd go for a friend while watching House tonight. In short, he's making his friends and co-workers choose b/t lying to the cops and putting themselves at risk or telling the truth and putting him in jail. So I started thinking about who I'd lie to the cops for and how big of a lie I'd tell. I didn't really like what I found out. In short, I ain't going to ruin my life to cover for someone else's screw up. I might tell little lies and make some 'inaccurate' statements, but I'm not getting myself in any serious trouble to protect you from reaping what you sowed.
I'd more readily sacrifice my life for someone than screw it up. If I do actually sacrifice it, I'm not around to regret anything. And I essentially die a hero. If I come real close to sacrificing it but live, I still know that I did something good. But if you screwed yourself and I take the rap to protect you, I'll have the rest of my life to think about how you're out free and clear while I'm paying for what you did. Uh uh, ain't gonna happen.
So if anyone out there is thinking about using me as an alibi or including me in some felony-type activity, think about that. I'll help, but not at the expense of my own safety. If you kill someone, don't tell me about it. I can't lie about something I don't know about. Stole a new car? Just don't tell me where it came from. You have it now, that's all I need to know. Cause if I'm facing possible jail time and/or a felony charge, I'm singing like a birdie. And to hell with what people might think. I'll be too busy living up my life to care about them.
Don't get me wrong, I'll happily help you cover up little stuff. I just draw the line at things I have to write down on job applications.

Done and done.

Random Baseball-Related Goodness

I finally feel like a whole person again. Yesterday I was able to successfully play in an entire baseball game pain-free. I can’t pitch yet, or really throw for that matter, but I can hit and catch like always. Playing hockey was a great first step, but playing baseball really seals it up. So with that spirit in mind, let me pound out some random baseball-related thoughts today.

I actually found a silver lining to not being medically cleared to pitch for at least a few more months. I’m no longer comically sore after throwing 5+ innings every Sunday morning. So my Sunday afternoon and evenings won’t be spent in pain on the couch, and I can move freely on Mondays. I loved pitching every week last year, it just put a physical beating on me. Of course, if my shoulder wasn’t messed up, there’s always the chance that it wouldn’t have hurt so badly on Monday. But my back, legs, and obliques would have still been shot, meaning the end result was the same.

I had another “Jack” moment while watching SportsCenter last week. (If you don’t know who Jack is or why this is mentionable, read here: http://criminaleyes.blogspot.com/2006/07/tribute-to-jack.html) Any time the Sox played the Indians we’d constantly refer to Travis Hafner as ‘Ogre’ and make random ogre-like comments. Me hit ball! Ball go far! Ogre not like ump when ump call Ogre out! Things like that. While we had nick-names and little things for many guys (ZAAAAHHHHHNNNN!!!), that was one of our favorites. So imagine my surprise when the anchor, while calling a highlight featuring a Hafner home run, used the line “…and in the morning, I’m making waffles!” Yeah, I almost missed that too so don’t feel bad. That was an obscure quote from the movie Shrek. Shrek was…drum roll please…an ogre. Now I don’t know for sure that the anchor was using that intentionally because of his own ogre connection, or just because it’s a funny line that involves waffles. Either way, I promptly gave props to Jack even though I don’t actually think he had anything to do with it. Hayley, however, is not purely kidding when she says that it’s Jack speaking to me from beyond. I got a good chuckle out of it and that’s all I care about.

I know a lot of people have been made fun of for this practice, but I don’t understand why more people don’t bring a baseball mitt to a baseball game. Even if you’re in the way back sections, you never know when I ball is going to come your way. And to me there is no shame in using a mitt to snare it. Those balls f’n hurt if they hit a bone! Maybe it’s just because I grew up sitting in the bleachers in Wrigley Field and always showed up early enough to watch BP. Trust me, you don’t want to be out there trying to catch home runs with your bare hands. If a ball just traveled 400ft on the fly, it’s moving pretty quickly when it arrives to your hand. And missing a sweet memento because you wanted to ‘man up’ and not use a mitt is just silly. Besides, when you’re not using it to catch balls, it makes a great bowl for peanuts.

I’m not sure where this trend started, but I first noticed it out here during baseball season a couple years ago. They make these window stickers that make it look like a baseball hit your windshield is and lodged in the glass. It’s just a ½ of a baseball complete with a circle of faux-shattered glass around it. It was kinda clever. Baseballs often do hit cars and could get stuck there. But then people started making them for other sports. Is it possible for the same thing to happen with a hockey puck? Maybe if you parked your car too close to a pond, but the odds are pretty low. But it was still possible and this is a fairly big hockey area. Understandable. But yesterday I saw one on a station wagon that was a mini football. 1) No one over the age of 4 is playing football with a ball that small. 2) No one under the age of 4 could throw that ball hard enough to have it bust a windshield. 3) It’s a football and wouldn’t come through a windshield even if thrown by John Elway himself. You can break a windshield with a non-hard object, but you’re not penetrating (he he he, I said penetrate) a windshield with it. I declare that those stickers have officially jumped the shark. Just like putting fake bullet holes on your Grand Caravan. You’re not fooling anyone and it doesn’t give your ride more street cred. You just look stupid.

Done and done.