I finally feel like a whole person again. Yesterday I was able to successfully play in an entire baseball game pain-free. I can’t pitch yet, or really throw for that matter, but I can hit and catch like always. Playing hockey was a great first step, but playing baseball really seals it up. So with that spirit in mind, let me pound out some random baseball-related thoughts today.
I actually found a silver lining to not being medically cleared to pitch for at least a few more months. I’m no longer comically sore after throwing 5+ innings every Sunday morning. So my Sunday afternoon and evenings won’t be spent in pain on the couch, and I can move freely on Mondays. I loved pitching every week last year, it just put a physical beating on me. Of course, if my shoulder wasn’t messed up, there’s always the chance that it wouldn’t have hurt so badly on Monday. But my back, legs, and obliques would have still been shot, meaning the end result was the same.
I had another “Jack” moment while watching SportsCenter last week. (If you don’t know who Jack is or why this is mentionable, read here: http://criminaleyes.blogspot.com/2006/07/tribute-to-jack.html) Any time the Sox played the Indians we’d constantly refer to Travis Hafner as ‘Ogre’ and make random ogre-like comments. Me hit ball! Ball go far! Ogre not like ump when ump call Ogre out! Things like that. While we had nick-names and little things for many guys (ZAAAAHHHHHNNNN!!!), that was one of our favorites. So imagine my surprise when the anchor, while calling a highlight featuring a Hafner home run, used the line “…and in the morning, I’m making waffles!” Yeah, I almost missed that too so don’t feel bad. That was an obscure quote from the movie Shrek. Shrek was…drum roll please…an ogre. Now I don’t know for sure that the anchor was using that intentionally because of his own ogre connection, or just because it’s a funny line that involves waffles. Either way, I promptly gave props to Jack even though I don’t actually think he had anything to do with it. Hayley, however, is not purely kidding when she says that it’s Jack speaking to me from beyond. I got a good chuckle out of it and that’s all I care about.
I know a lot of people have been made fun of for this practice, but I don’t understand why more people don’t bring a baseball mitt to a baseball game. Even if you’re in the way back sections, you never know when I ball is going to come your way. And to me there is no shame in using a mitt to snare it. Those balls f’n hurt if they hit a bone! Maybe it’s just because I grew up sitting in the bleachers in Wrigley Field and always showed up early enough to watch BP. Trust me, you don’t want to be out there trying to catch home runs with your bare hands. If a ball just traveled 400ft on the fly, it’s moving pretty quickly when it arrives to your hand. And missing a sweet memento because you wanted to ‘man up’ and not use a mitt is just silly. Besides, when you’re not using it to catch balls, it makes a great bowl for peanuts.
I’m not sure where this trend started, but I first noticed it out here during baseball season a couple years ago. They make these window stickers that make it look like a baseball hit your windshield is and lodged in the glass. It’s just a ½ of a baseball complete with a circle of faux-shattered glass around it. It was kinda clever. Baseballs often do hit cars and could get stuck there. But then people started making them for other sports. Is it possible for the same thing to happen with a hockey puck? Maybe if you parked your car too close to a pond, but the odds are pretty low. But it was still possible and this is a fairly big hockey area. Understandable. But yesterday I saw one on a station wagon that was a mini football. 1) No one over the age of 4 is playing football with a ball that small. 2) No one under the age of 4 could throw that ball hard enough to have it bust a windshield. 3) It’s a football and wouldn’t come through a windshield even if thrown by John Elway himself. You can break a windshield with a non-hard object, but you’re not penetrating (he he he, I said penetrate) a windshield with it. I declare that those stickers have officially jumped the shark. Just like putting fake bullet holes on your Grand Caravan. You’re not fooling anyone and it doesn’t give your ride more street cred. You just look stupid.
Done and done.
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