Long time!

Ooooof, it's been awhile. Good thing no one really cares, or I'd have an angry readership pounding down my door.
Hopefully I can make ammends today, but probably not.
Worst. Championship. Ever.
So I'm flipping through the channels the other day around 5:45pm. I was too lazy to go to the gym, so I just came strait home. Leaving me with some extra time to kill. But I figure that either ESPN or ESPN2 will have something awful that I can watch to amuse myself long enough for the good evening TV to come on. Turns out I was right about 1/2 of that. ESPN2 is apparently so out of ideas for programming that they're willing to show anything they can find that seems to be vaguely related to sports. Things that you never would have guessed there would be a championship for. Today's wonderful selection: The 2005 Dominoes Championship. That's right, dominoes. That game you see old men playing in the barber shop while waxing romantic about how much better things were when they were young. And these guys were really getting into it. They were focused and had strategies. It was 2 on 2, with your partner across the table from you. They had a graphic on the screen showing what each player started with and they'd gray out the ones they'd already played. In case you wanted to follow along with their stratagy and better your own game. And in case you couldn't keep up, they had 2 announcers (yes, you need 2 guys to properly cover an event of this magnitude) giving a play-by-play. I made it for about 1 game before I started shouting "BUT IT'S JUST DOMINOES!!" at the TV. 1 minute later I had to turn off the TV in disgust and walk away. ESPN had finally let me down. And then repeated the feat on Friday. It was a sad period of time. And now I'm constantly afraid of turning on ESPN2 if I'm home early from work, worried I'll lose even more respect for them.

Random Realization
In case people are wondering what it's like to be in my head, here's something I spent 5 minutes thinking about last week.
We have a picture up in the bathroom of a dog dressed up in a tux and sitting at a nice dinner table. He's got some wine and a full table setting. And there's an arm reaching in from the side, presumably from his butler, setting down a nice plate of steak. The caption: "Every Dog Has His Day". I see it a couple times a day and never think about it. Until last week. Then I started thinking about that phrase. We use it like it's a good thing. You see a guy having a great day out of nowhere and drop that line. But is it really a good thing? No. What you're saying is, "He's a worthless idiot and doesn't deserve anything, but at least he's got this one day." It's clearly a way to completely rain on someone's good day. The nicer way of saying 'The sun shines on even a dog's ass once in awhile." Interesting, isn't it.

Gym Rats
So I'm at the gym on Tuesday and I'm not having one of my better work-outs. I just didn't seem to have it. So as I was starting to wind down things, I decide it's not worth staying to get those few extra sets in. Better to just walk away from a marginal work-out and head home. Put in the extra work when I'm having a better day. My last set of triceps extentions is going to be last set of the day. And just as I'm thinking this, BAM, power goes out. Emergency lights kick on, radio is off, treadmills are off, the works. The only sound that's left: the clanging of weights as people don't even bat at eye about it. Most people just looked around for a second to confirm that the power wasn't coming right back on, then continued on with their workouts. I was no different. Finished up that last set like nothing was wrong. Luckily I was done anyways, or that would have gotten annoying. I just found it really amusing that no one stopped. And there was absolutely nothing said from the staff. No one came out to say that maybe we should stop using the weights now that it was pretty dark so no one gets hurt. Nothing.

Funny comments from Hayley
Hayley has now started making some great comments, completely unaware that she's doing it. Which is probably why they're great. 2 stand out from last week.
1) In the middle of talking to her on the phone she just tosses in "Ohhh, there's blood on my shoes." Not upset, not alarmed, just like it was a normal occurrance. Like a normal person would talk about stepping in gum, or getting a little bit of mud on their shoes. Like it's just a perfectly normal thing to be walking around with someone else's blood on your shoes. Hell, I do it all the time!
2) Not as good, and more of a follow-up to #1. A couple days later I ask if she got any more blood on her shoes. She responds with an annoyed-sounding "Yeah." Like it was rediculous that I was even asking that questions. And then with, "Well, maybe that's just ambiotic fluid."
This may only be funny if you know Hayley. She's really not one to be dropping comments like that out of nowhere. It's probably the same reaction people have when I suddenly show empathy and compation. Or care about the feelings of a stranger.

In case I don't write again before Tuesday, everyone have a great 4th of July. Light off plenty of fireworks and drink plenty of booze. I'll be out trying to score with some shady Winthrop high school sluts during the bonfire/fireworks on the beach.

Whose car is worth less?
I got into a spirited bout of 'Whose car is worth less' the other day on the way to work. For those that don't know, that's the game you play when 2 people are going after the same piece of road. Merges, lane changes in traffic, etc. If you have a shitty car and they have a nice car, they'll likely back off first. Other way around and you should yield.
So there is a section of the drive to work where people exiting out of a rotary merge onto the road from the right. It's a long, slow merge lane, so you often get into conflicts with the people not yielding like they should. It's fun at 40mph at times. But when there's bad traffic and it's backed up past the merge it's even more fun. You get 2 lanes of people in the merge lane trying to get into only 1 right-hand lane. All while creeping slowly along. And because this is Boston and most drivers are horribly impatient and feel they should never have to be put out, regardless of who has the right-of-way, it's even better. So it came down to me vs. a merger inching along behind a truck. Neither of us wanting to budge. I just didn't want to give up cause I was bored and this is how I get my thrills on the way to work. I know all the little confusing parts of the drive and like to punish others for not knowing them. Yes, I have a problem.
Anyways, I was up against a guy in an early-90s minivan with a banged up front corner. So when it really got down to the point where we were running out of room to be 2-wide, I had to give up. He was clearly going to take it to the point of collision, and had nothing to lose. I had an un-smashed body panel to lose. Thus, I lost the battle of Whose Car is Worth Less. Not really a bad thing when you really think about it.

Armageddon
So while I was in Minneapolis for a wedding (not sure if I mentioned it already, probably not. But I was there with Hayley for her roommate's wedding. Good enough?) I had alot of time to kill. Hayley was in the wedding and her friends were hung over. So I got to just lay around and watch bad TV. And Armageddon falls into this category. It's a great movie to watch, but not of the highest quality. The movie ends and I suddenly have the greatest idea for a terrible ending. So you see NASA and everyone celebrating their victory over the space rock. Jumping around, high-5s, the works. Then suddenly some nerdy tech shouts out "Hey guys! There's a 2nd meteor behind it!!" A 2nd rock hiding in the tail of the first rock is discovered, which then slams into the Earth and kills everyone. It's mean, it's sick, but it's also funny. And a terrible way to end a movie. But wouldn't it be awesome if a movie studio had the balls to do something like that?! That suddenly the 2 hours of movie you just watched, all the trials and heroism you just witnessed, it was all for nothing. People would definately leave that movie feeling awful.

Northwest Airlines
This may be the most ghetto airline I've ever flown. Granted I don't take many non-major airline flights, but I've been on a couple. For starters, they are shoehorned into a tiny little gate area in the corner of Logan. It's an oddly shaped area with things layed out pretty poorly. They obviously didn't have the sway to get a good area. But whatever, I'm not here to judge their gate area. I'm there to fly on the plane.
Then boarding begins. Most airlines like to board in small sections from back-to-front to make things go quickly. You don't want the people in the first few rows blocking the aisle so the people in the back have to wait. Not NWest! The attendant just grabs the mic and says "You may begin boarding." Everyone just heads for the door at the same time. So you get a huge back-up at the door to get in. Then you get another back-up as people fight to get down the aisle while people are loading their bags into the over-head. So then boarding takes at least double what it should.
But wait, there's more. I settle in and notice that all of the armrests still have ashtrays in them. Which takes a few seconds to really click home. These planes are so old that they still have ashtraps in every seat. Then I notice how flimsy the seats are. If anyone in your row moves, you can feel the whole assembly flex. You can see the frame of the seats in front of you and it's not good. It's all fine and good while you're flying along nicely, but if anything happens during take-off or landing, we're all screwed. Luckily nothing happens and I don't get a chance to see if I was right or not.

2 New Cubs Nick-Names
I came up with 2 new nick-names for Cubs players the other week.
Juan Pierre --> Juan --> Juan Valdez --> coffee. But since Pierre has been having an awful season, even with all the tools he has, he becomes....De-Caf!! Cause he looks like he should be great, but then by the time you're done watching the game you wonder what the point was.
Freddie Bynum. This is a bit of a stretch, so bear with me. Bynum --> Barnum --> Barnum and Bailey's circus --> 3-ring circus --> cockring --> which show up often in bad...PORNO! So he's now Porno.
I really like De-Caf, but Porno is clearly not my best work. But I still like it, cause it's funny.

And on that note....
PEACE!!!

Summer is here!

Well well, summer finally decided to rear it's ugly head around these parts. We went from 70s last week to mid-90s over the weekend. While I don't necessarily mind the hot weather, I'd appreciate it if it could be a slow build up next time. Jumping 10 degrees in a couple days just isn't cool. And it's supposed to go right back to 70s starting tomorrow.

Baseball
But at least it was sunny and clear for baseball yesterday. Hot, but no rain. And given the long lay-off, my body actually felt pretty good. My shoulder wasn't all pissed off, back didn't hurt, knee felt fine. It was like I wasn't all banged up! I proceeded to go out and pitch 6 strong innings, which is definately rare for me. But there was a down side. Here's me yesterday: "Man, I just pitched 6 innings and my arm doesn't even feel tired. Doesn't hurt or nothing!" Here's me this morning when I reached over to silence my alarm: "AHHHHHHH!!!! What have I done?!!"
Needless to say my right arm isn't moving so well today. I'm quite sore today, and quite surprised. I figured I'd be a little sore after not throwing for so long, but not like this. Hopefully it'll get better quickly and I'll feel even better this weekend. I'd hate to start the nagging injury series before hockey starts. Cause it's only getting worse once the hockey season starts up.

Cubs and CDs
I recently took a page out of my buddy Tom's book regarding my music collection. Seems Tom has the nice idea of playing every CD he has alphabetically once every few years. Takes him a few months to do it, but you occationally find something that you forgot you had. So I started this up at work the other week. I'd do it in the car as well, but I'd rather listen to XM on the drive to/from work to help me get through my day.
Anyways, right now I'm at the tail end of my Tori Amos section. Yes, one of my dirty little secrets is being a Tori fan. I'm not so big into her right now, as I'm not miserable. But when you're down, that's the way to go. But it is quite nice to be listening to Tori when you read the recap and box scores from the Cubs games. Cause you'll feel like total shit when that's going on and really need that help. I mean, could this season BE any more depressing for us?! We had 1 chance at temporary bliss over the weekend: Mark Prior's return. And then he goes out there and shits the bed. When you have more HRs allowed than innings pitched, that's a bad day (4 HRs in 3.2 innings). And Prior wasn't the only one that could make that claim. Novoa gave up 4 in only 3.1 innings of work. A terrible day that will likely kill the last of the hope for this season. I think at this point I have to be realistic about it. While still mathematically possible, the odds are pretty bad. We'd have to win over 2/3 of our remaining games just to get to 90 wins, the assumed mark for making the playoffs. We have a .382 winning % now, and would need to jump that by .300 to .680 to get to 90. With a team that is still without it's best hitter and 2 best pitchers. I'm not counting Prior as being back, as he still sucks and we're almost better off not having him right now. Maybe in a couple weeks I'll count him as being back. Needless to say, it's time to start working out some trades. Dump the veterans we no longer need to get some kids to restock the minors with.

Cereal
In a surprising move, I'd jumped to eating Kashi cereals. And I have to admit that it's not too bad. Right now I'm working the Go Lean Crunch. It's kinda like eating a cinnamon-spiced rice cake in a bowl with milk. But better than that sounds. I'm going to give it a couple more boxes before I finalize an opinion, but things are looking good so far. Plus, it would appear that it gives me alot of gas in the afternoon. I'm still not sure if it's something else doing that, but that's the only thing that's been common since last thursday. While not the best thing to have it work, as long as it's stink-free gas I can rip as many silent ones as I want. Which I do. Yes, I'm aware that I can be a rather discusting human at times. But at least I've tightened my criteria on eating food that I've dropped on the floor after the deodorant incident. Yikes!

Okay, times up kids. I'm outta' here.
PEACE!!!

Back in rainy, stupid Boston

Well, I'm back home after my nice long weekend in Chicago. The land of milk and honey if you like the Cubs and real pizza. Oh yeah, and sun. Cause we get nothing but rain out here this summer. It's like I'm living in Seattle! It was raining when I left, spent 4 days in sunny warm Chicago, only to come back here to more thunderstorms. I really hope Anna closed up some of the windows in our apt...
Dad's Status
Dad was finally out of the hospital as of tuesday night. The 2nd operation seems to have been successful at cleaning out the last of the infection. And they hooked him up with a PICC thing, so he can remain on IV antibiotics at home/work. Essentially he has 2 tubes sticking out of his arm on the under-side of his bicept. Both tubes have a little fitting that connects to a pump that he'll wear on his waist. He'll load in a new batch of penicilin in the morning and receive the programmed dose all day long. He's thrilled to be out of the hospital. But not so thrilled to have this thing running for the next 4-6 weeks.
And now we'll start working on camping trip try #2. Depending on how the infection dies down, we should be able to go in September like we normally do. But we're going to have to play this one by ear. We definately can't rush this and go if he's not 100% healed up. Had we been out in the woods when the infection flared up, it would have definately been a life or death situation. We would have been at least 2 days away from any medical care while the infection was spreading up his arm and heading for his heart. And 2 days assumes that the weather is favorably for traveling with only me paddling and we're able to find someone else to head back to the ranger for us so they can send in a float plane. So it could have been a few more days. Definately a scary situation and he honestly could have died up there. It's the downside to camping in such a remote and wonderful place. We should have a good idea in the next couple of weeks.
The Pizza Boycott: Worth it?
Yes, every bite. It was even longer than expected, as we went strait from the airport to the hospital. But that first slice of pizza and first bag of fries was worth every minute of waiting. So was slice/bag #2. Naturally it really only whetted my appetite for pizza, so I'm still dying for more. So I'll likely have to dial up some marginal east-coast style for dinner on friday. Or saturday. We'll see how the week plays out.
But you just can't match the joy of chicago style pizza. It was made for heartier individuals like myself. None of this floppy crust, thin layer of cheese crap they serve out here. Thick crust, loads of cheese. That's how it's supposed to be. As much cheese as the oven can melt.
Moving
My parents are finally moving out of their house into a new one. Brand new, as it turns out. So even though I wasn't camping I was still there over the weekend to pack up what's left of my stuff there. Not much, but things I clearly would like to keep. And as I was leaving I realized that if things go well it'll be the last time I'm in that house. They move in late August, and I see no reason why I would be there before then. If we go camping right after Labor Day, they'll be all moved into the new house. Kinda sad, but I've been moved out and in Boston for 5.5 years now. So I've been slowly cutting the mental ties to that house for a long time. My sister isn't taking it as well, but she never really got herself set up anywhere else. So that's still home to her. But she'll be fine. She's a big girl. Literally, too. She's like a giant. 6' tall. And able to kick the ass out of anyone who stands in her way.
The new house looks like it'll be very nice, too. They just started putting up the sheetrock inside, but you can still get a good idea. And from the details I've heard, it'll be really classy. Oak floors, granite counters, tall ceilings, the works. Working fireplace, too. And plenty of room on the first floor for having groups of people over. SuperBowl, cutglass organization, Christmas and T-Day, etc. Which was really what they were after. And a larger master suite.
It'll be tough to get back and forth to Pat's house when we're both home, but we'll get by. Nothing is going to stop us when it's time to get it on! We did lose our good football field, but we can just set up shop down at his parents' house in the future.
That's enough.
PEACE!!

Well, at least it's Friday!

It's been a rough week again. I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I was supposed to be heading out on my father and I's annual camping trip to the Quetico on monday. Fly home saturday, pack up, then drive up the the BWCA on monday, get in the canoe and head into Quetico on Tuesday. 10 days of solitude and fishing. No permanent structures are allowed, no motors, and strict limits on how many people can enter the area each day. It's heaven if you love sleeping in a tent and fishing. And trying to avoid even laying eyes on another human being.
But alas, the trip is off. My Dad came down with a very nasty infection in his hand on tuesday. He spent a couple days in the hospital on IV antibiotics, surgery, the works. It was starting to spread up his arm, heading for his heart. He's fine and the infection is receding, but the trip is off. There's no way he'd be ready to go by Tuesday. There are 1000 ways to get an infection up there, and we're 2-3 days away from medical care. Not worth the risk, so we're just doing to have to postpone it.
So instead of getting a nice 2-week break from this hell I call work, I'll be here suffering. It'll be like Dante in Clerks. "I'm not even supposed to BE here today!" For 2 weeks.
And it continues to rain rain rain here. I'll be in Chicago from saturday to tuesday so I'll be missing baseball anyway, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's rained out. The fields must be soaked from all the rain we're getting, and it's not going to be sunny and windy out. There's just no chance for the fields to dry out. It's cloudy and drizzly every day. Too much rain is better than not enough rain, but this is getting comical.
First Comment
Ladies and Gentlemen! We finally have someone that could pony up and comment.

SkupDogg said...

here are some more of Pat and Skup's nicknames:

Derrik Lee = "The Destroyer" ; cuz he destroys the chances of the other team winning

Aramis Ramirez = "The RazMan"

Neifi Perez = "Louie Bag of Donuts" ; compliments of Dirt Bag Kevin, NYC

See, if you comment, you get referenced in here without having to do something stupid!

Pizza Boycott
Hayley didn't seem to get this concept, so let me see if others can. I love pizza. I love Chicago-style pizza more than anything else in the world. I can't get it out here, though. So whenever I go back home, I have to stock up on good pizza to hold me over til the next trip. Now then, I'm sure we've all experienced the phenomenon of your craving of something going up the longer you've gone between having it. So if I havne't had any pizza in like 2 weeks, the next pizza I eat is going to be awesome. Just based on the simple fact that I was craving it so much. So if I simultaneously build up a craving from not having pizza, then travel back to my pizza mecca, what do you think will happen? Exactly!! That first slice of good chicag0-style pizza is going to seem like the greatest pizza I've ever eaten! Which is my plan. I've been doing my damnest to avoid eating any pizza for 2 weeks now. It's been rough, yes, but it'll all be worth it on saturday when I get home. Hit up Tony V's for a slice of cheese and a jumbo fries. My blood with thicken and I'll take a year off of my life, but it'll be awesome.
Everyone get it? Good.
That's it! I'm outta' here! Enjoy your weekend folks! Drink lots of beer and watch lots of Anime. And once in awhile shake your fist at the sky and yell "Damn you, Jack!!" He'll appreciate it.
PEACE!!!

This was originally going to be more of a play-by-play account, but then I realized how horribly boring that would be to read. Which I’m sure people can imagine. So I’m cutting this down to just important comments and witty banter.

Top 1^st

Coco Crisp: An important part of a healthy line-up. Just match him up with some toast and OJ and you’re all set. I’m sure people have been working that joke over all season, but yet I still feel the need to do it again.

Manny Ramirez works a walk on a full count. This is essentially a waste of my time, as he’s not on my fantasy team to walk. It’s better than making an out, but so is a 2-run HR. I really could use the extra run production right now on my fantasy team, so that’s important to me right now.

Bottom of 1^st

Johnny Damon – Or shall we call him Judas? You can call him Ray Jay for all I care. He lays down a bunt to the left and reaches. Nothing makes me happier than seeing teams play small ball. Especially in the AL where it’s much less common.

Melky Cabrera grounds into a quick double-play to the SS. So we’ve now established that his mom can’t spell and he can’t hit.

Jeremy “Juicer” Giambi hits a quick grounder to first, inning done. Maybe he should try having that pituitary gland tumor back in. And Red Sox rookie pitcher Pauley is out of the inning with only 6 pitches. It’s like he’s facing the Cubs. Except that you can get the Cubs out for 2 innings on only 6 pitches.

Top 2^nd

Jason Varitek dribbles an easy grounder to first. Mark HATES him. Some of it is from the A-Rod/Tek brawl, some of it is from other reasons. But it’s awesome to watch a Sox game with Mark. Nothing is funnier than someone else’s blinding rage. Especially when it’s directed at a player that is quite well liked around here.

Mike Lowell - Could this guy BE any grayer? He’s like an old man out there. Really. Anyways…he hits an easy grounder that the SS boots, but is still given a single. Weird, considering he isn’t the home team. I kinda love the completely arbitrary scoring system in baseball. Hits, errors, strikezone, all of it. Most of the game is really up to arbitrary decisions.

Coco drags his at-bat out by fouling off tons of pitches. He builds up the anticipation and is about to see 9 in total. And then he just pops out to the SS. Right now all of New England has blue balls. I hate when a hitter does that. If you’re going to work the pitcher that well and see all those pitches, at least make decent contact. Otherwise you just look like an idiot. He does succeed in wearing out the pitcher a bit, but that’s all.

Bottom 2^nd

Gay-Rod and his big purple lips, Ks swinging. I don’t think any man in the world is hated more in Boston than A-Rod. Jeter is hated, but people seem to at least respect the guy on some level. Not A-Rod. Just pure hate around here.

During Andy Phillips’ at bat, you get a great comment by the Sox announcer Jerry Remy: “He was way out on his front foot, nothing left to do but drag the bat through the bat zone.” Aka, the hitting zone. Remy is always good for a few little mistakes. They amuse me.

Between innings there is a really annoying FoxWoods casino commercial. It involves a couple doing a little song number that brings in all the various attractions of FoxWoods, while making the claim that it’s bringing them closer together. But they do everything on their own. So the only couple event was dinner, which is at the very end and not really focused on. Pretty annoying. Thanks to Mark for bringing that to my attention.

Top 3^rd

Wong leaves a change-up over the plate and belt high to Ortiz. And right now some poor single mother in Jersey is wondering who just knocked on the door of her trailer hard enough to make a dent and then just took off. Manny follows him and rips one past the 1^st-baseman for a single. Better than a walk, but I’d still prefer a HR and an RBI or 8. With Manny running Trot Nixon smokes a line-drive directly to the 1^st-baseman for an easy double-play. Manny’s fantasy stats so far: 1-1 with a walk. It’s the fantasy equivalent of drinking Near Beer. It tastes like beer, but why.

Bottom 3^rd

Miguel Cairo, an ex-Cub. And because of that, he is blessed with a hit.

Judas manages to lift a weak fly ball to the LF. And with his girlish swing and noodle arms, getting it all the way to the left fielder on a fly is like a normal hitter cranking a 500-ft HR. The Juicer roids up and grounds sharply to the second baseman to end the inning. Wuss.

Top 4^th

Mike Lowell, first pitch, weak grounder to the pitcher. Now, knowing the pitcher’s thrown a lot of pitches, and they aren’t really hitting him well, why don’t you take a couple? It’s the 3^rd inning and he’s pushing 70 pitches. Take a few, run that count up, and get him out of there before the 5^th inning. Make them use up their bullpen and take advantage for the rest of the series. Mike Lowell is actually 1 of 2 people I will never be able to like after the 2003 NLCS series with the Cubs. He was one of the couple players that sank us. He comes off the bench for that huge pinch-hit HR after being hurt for pretty much the 2^nd half of the season. And he really came up with big hits in every clutch situation he was in. Jerk. The other person is Josh Beckett. That kid pitched out of his head that series.

Kevin Youkilis hits a weak grounder to SS to end it. This guy has the gayest batting stance I’ve ever seen. You really have to see it to get it. The only way he could be more gay at the plate is to go up there with a silk scarf around his neck and a champagne coolie in his hand.

Only 7 pitches that inning. Wasted opportunity by the Sox.

Bottom 4th

Posada hits a line drive off the wall in left center. Coco ran after that one until he hit the wall. Wasn’t even close to it, but he still felt the need to over-run it and let Manny get it on the bounce. And it’s not like Manny has some cannon of an arm and had a shot at getting him at 2^nd. It looks like he just ran after it completely ignoring any urge to pull up and play it on the quick hop off the wall. Reminds me of watching a high school game.

Robinson Cano, he’s primitive as can be. And he grounds harmless to first.

Top 4^th

Missed the first couple batters, but it’s my mom’s fault. Apparently my dad has a severely infected finger and is having surgery right now. So here is my summary of the “action”. Blah, blah, blah, E6, double-play to end the inning. Good enough?

And you know what; I’m done with this game. Kerry Wood is pitching tonight, so I shall now shift my attention and play-by-play to the Cubs game. Enjoy the gear shift and be thankful you’re not here for it.

Cubs @ Astros

We pick up the action in the bottom of the 2^nd. Which means Kerry is probably up around 75 pitches by now. And right on cue, he walks a guy. Okay, here’s my cheating version of the 2^nd:

Preston Wilson – Doubles off the wall in left.

Eric Bruntlett - Walks on a full count.

Wandy Rodriguez – He tries to lay down a sac bunt. And does. Kerry decides he needs to rifle it to 3^rd to get the runner there. And chucks it into left. 1 run scores and it’s still only 1 out.

Chris Burke – Kerry reverts to old form and gets behind him and then has to groove one. Drilled to right-center where Jacque Jones has to make a diving try at it. Misses it for a 2-run triple.

Lance Berkman – Jumps on the first pitch and lines it to RF. Luckily Jones can make the nice play at the wall to haul it in. Inning over, 3-0.

Whew.

Top 3^rd

Top of the order coming up, which means they didn’t do much in the first 2 innings.

Juan Pierre apparently grounded out to SS in the 1^st. Not surprising, as he’s become quite the expert on weak grounders to the middle infielders. Now he fakes a bunt, then tries to half-bunt the next pitch and looks stupid. But then he redeems himself by grounding out to first. I guess he thought he could catch that guy napping.

Ronnie Cedeno is possibly the skinniest guy in baseball. Non-pitcher, that is. He is going to make a hell of a SS once he gets some more experience. That time is not now and he flies lazily to right. 2 down without much of a struggle.

Todd Walker, who you may recall has the nick-name ‘Muzzle’. And from the look of it, he hasn’t shaved since warm-ups. He’s got a pretty good beard going, which only helps him to ground out to the SS right behind the bag.

Bottom 3^rd

Mike Lamb lashes the first pitch to right center for a single. The announcers had more of the dumb banter and act like they called that one by ending their long between hitters promo with ‘okay, now you can hit it’.

Preston Wilson blasts a double to the right field corner, another almost HR. Runner doesn’t score, but I’m getting a little nervous about how this is going to end for Kerry.

Kerry’s curve does look pretty good, but he’s still nowhere near where we need him to be. Which means he leans on the curve too much and just walks people. Like Bruntlett right now. If you can throw 95+, why throw so many curves? I’m glad he’s trying to become more of a pitcher and not just chuck fastballs every time, but if that’s your best pitch you gotta go with it.

Bases loaded for the pitcher with 2 outs. This has SportsCenter low-light written all over it. Luckily the pitcher swings like a girl. Nice 2-hopper to first to end the inning.

Unusual comment of the night award, tonight given to us by my roommate Anna. I tell her to make me some damn broccoli, as I haven’t had my daily does yet. She responds with, “If you keep this up every day, you’ll have healthier breasts than me!” Raise your hand if you get it. Exactly, no hands are up. Apparently there was a study done that eating broccoli can stave off breast cancer. I guess all that fiber and calcium is good for you. (Right now Hayley is saying “I knew that, I just didn’t want to raise my hand cause I wasn’t sure.”)

Top 4^th

Phil Nevin, the newest Cub! Traded a guy we didn’t want to Texas for a guy we may be able to use. Not right now, as he grounds out weakly. But maybe later he’ll do something cool.

Aramis Ramirez has been off to a slow start, but is showing signs of snapping out of it. And he responds by slapping a single to right to extend his hitting streak to 5 games. The real problem is that he doesn’t respond well to being the #1 slugger. We need to get Wu-Tang back to take the pressure off of him. Or get Nevin to hit for some serious power.

Bottom 4^th

Chris Burke taps a slow roller towards short. Spyder decides that he wants to make the awkward scoop and throw instead of letting Ronnie take it. He gets the out, so it’s all good. I know the convention is that any ball the third baseman can get to he can make the play on, but you have to use some discretion. And it’s not like he’s a Gold Glover yet, either.

Wood is only up to 67 pitches, but the bullpen is already going. Will Ohman, getting loose. Announcers: “Kerry is pitching tonight, instead of just throwing. That was always the knock on him.” Right on cue, he pitches himself into a long HR to right. I think I’d prefer if he went back to just throwing if this is pitching. And the announcers wondered why the ‘pen was up so early. Berkman’s HR, 425ft.

More “pitching” from Kerry results in another hard shot by Ensberg. Line-drive double off the left field wall, and that’s it for Kerry. 75 pitches, 4 ERs and a runner on 2^nd.

Luckily Ohman gets out of it quickly to end the inning.

Top 5^th

Jones nicely Ks on 3 pitches. If you’re going to suck, might as well suck quickly instead of wasting peoples’ time.

Hey, Henry Blanco hits a nice blast to left center off of the wall for a double. Chugging along with his catcher’s speed, too.

Neifi Perez, or as I like to call him, Neifi “Leave ‘em Stranded” Perez, manages to suck in every situation where a basehit would really help you. This AB is no different, as he lifts a lazy fly ball to short center field. Can’t even advance the runner to 3^rd, as that would have been useful.

Pierre does a good job of working the count and sees plenty of pitches. Exactly what you want your lead-off hitter to do. You’d prefer he actually get on base more often, but I guess that’s asking too much of Juan. He does get on this time with a walk.

Bottom 5^th

Rookie pitcher Carlos Marmol is in for his second big league appearance. He’s apparently got great stuff, so let’s see. Throwing 97 and looks like he’s got a big curve that’s low-80s. Not bad for a guy that was a catcher 3 years ago.

Preston Wilson strikes out on the aforementioned power curve. 82mph 12-6 curve right after a 97mph heater.

Marmol’s stuff is really good. Damn. I gotta wonder why he wasn’t brought up earlier. Gets Bruntlett looking at that nasty curve.

Top 6^th

Let’s see if we can’t rally with the heart of the order coming up and get a few runs. Hell, just get 1 run to get the ball rolling. If we can hold them right here all we have to do is score 1 run per inning and we’ll win in 10. I can live with that!

Muzzle apparently he didn’t get my memo and flies out to left.

We’re defiantly going to need Nevin to pick it up while D.Lee is on the DL. We’re in dire need of some power in the line-up. And as I type that he grounds out to second. Fantastic.

Spyder pops up down the first base line to Biggio. I’m just going to make my broccoli. I don’t even know what to say about what just happened.

It’s amazing to me how inconsistent this team is. We rock the Astros last night 8-0 to back up a near no-hitter by Zambrano. Then we come out here tonight and look like crap. It’s just not right. We’re not even really putting up a struggle at this point.

Bottom 6^th

The pitcher flies out to center. Still pitching, and apparently only on 3 days rest. Thus making our poor hitting performance even worse.

My broccoli is done, but I stay around long enough to watch Burke rip a single past the diving Cedeno. I think I’ll get up now.

In more important news, Anna’s friend Cady is back with her boyfriend Steve. They have one of those Elaine-Putty things going on where they break up and get back together often. This break-up didn’t even last 1 full day. It’s sad, but I don’t know Cady enough to really care all that much. But still sad none the less.

Marmol works his way out of some trouble to strand runners at 2^nd and 3^rd by striking out Ensberg looking. Close call, but with 2 strikes you really need to swing if it’s close.

Top 7^th

Okay, similar situation, but now we need 2 runs in one of these next 3 innings to stay alive for the 10^th. And the heart of the order went down 1-2-3, so I don’t have high hopes for the bottom of the order. Royals fans don’t have hope for any part of their line-up, but they still manage to win games from time to time so I guess anything is possible.

Fly out by Murton, in-field single by Jones, ground out by Blanco, and now Michael “Catfish” Barrett is up for Marmol. He is our best hitter, but there are 2 outs and he’s been sitting all game long.

And of course the announcers work in some brawl comments. They mention he spends a lot of time in the gym, which of course leads to boxing analogies like “think he does a lot of speed bag work” and “I bet all that weight lifting helped him with that haymaker he threw at AJ”. Idiots. Barrett grounds out to SS to end the inning. He bobbled it just to make it interesting, but still threw him out.

Bottom 7^th

One of our big free-agent pickups is in to pitch, Scott Eyre. Chubby leftie, and he does pitch well. It’s hard to say if he and Bob Howry were worth it, as we just haven’t had that many late-inning games for them to work in. When you lose over half of your games, it’s hard to say anyone was worth the money. Cause if you’re not going to be fighting for the play-offs, why go out and sign high-priced people for any position?

I really should stop eating salsa at this point. It’s 10pm and I’m over ½ done with the jar. My morning coffee doesn’t need to extra boost of a stomach full of cheese, chicken grease, and hot salsa to get things moving. In fact, eating this whole jar seems like really tempting fate.

Hayley called and made me miss a line-drive double-play. Ronnie to Nevin. Oh well. She’s working nights this week so I need to talk to her when I have the chance. Stupid Hayley.

So we go to the 8^th down 4-0. But the Astros are into their bullpen, so maybe we can get something going.

Top 8^th

We have 6 outs to score 4 runs. The top of the order is up, so this is as good as we can ask for at this point. The announcers sound about as excited to watch this game as I am. I still have faith we can pull this one out, but I just can’t get too pumped at this point. Juan almost gets me into it with a line-drive to center, but it’s caught for the out. It’s just hard to consistently score runs when you’re lead-off hitter has an OBP under .300. It completely screws up everything else. Pierre was supposed to fix our problems there, not make them worse. I’d rather have the old Corey Patterson back! At least he hit a HR once in awhile to go with all his strike-outs.

The 388^th fan at tomorrow’s game will be the 75^th million regular season fan in the history of the Houston franchise. That is what dominated the talk during Todd Walker’s AB. He walked, by the way. Nevin politely grounds to 3^rd on the first pitch to end it. No sense making this game any longer than necessary!

Bottom 8^th

Bobby Howry is in for what may be our last inning in the field. And now the announcers are talking about some stupid, ugly jacket that the on-field guy wore tonight. The coat is 2-0 so far on the season, so it got some real attention. I mention these things to showcase just how non-threatening the Cubs have been tonight. The booth is fresh out of ideas to spice up the broadcast. Actually, if it wasn’t for Kerry’s awful 2^nd inning where he had that error and gave up 3 runs, this would be a really good game. But it was and it isn’t.

And Howry is walking guys to add to the fun. Cause when you’re down 4-0 in the 8^th you shouldn’t just groove a few for fun. So what if they hit it. We’ve got 5 hits on the night, what are the odds we get 5 next inning?! Groove a fastball down the middle, drill the hitter in the thigh, anything except a walk! And now we get the fun of watching him try to hold the runner on first. Just let him steal second if he wants it. Pitch outs, pick-off attempts, what’s the point?!! I need to drink A LOT more if I’m going to watch these games all the way through. These are the ones I typically just pack it in and go to bed. But I thought it’d be fun to do this, and dammit I’m going to finish it.

I’ve officially muted the game to listen to music. I forgot how Janet Jackson’s “Black Cat” went, so I had to listen to it. And once I made that jump, I wasn’t going to go back. On the plus side, picturing Janet rocking out is quite nice at this point. I’d rather see that than this game.

Howry walks them full, but does get a strikeout with a full count to end it. Yes, it’s the bottom of the 8^th inning and he managed to walk them full and then go to a full count on the next batter. And it was a close pitch the hitter swung at, too. Had he took that, it may have been a ball. But like I said earlier, if you’ve got 2 strikes and it’s close you gotta swing.

Okay, now I need to figure out how to build up a play-list with Nero. I kinda like learning new software programs, but I don’t have a lot of patience right now to deal with it.

Top 9^th

Spyder is up to lead it off and is swinging like he should right now: for the fence. Down 4 runs with 3 outs to go, he should be trying to hit the ball to Mexico. He ends up flying out to right, but I appreciate his effort.

Murton does get an in-field single, which then allows Jones to strikeout without ending the game with it. He should buy Matt a new car for that.

Holy Cow!! Pinch-hitting John Mabry hits a double to strait-away center to score Murton from first! Up that stupid hill they have in deep center here. That ball would have been a 2R-HR in pretty much any other park. Oh well, at least the shut-out is gone.

I was just about to make the claim that if Catfish hits a HR here I’ll stop drinking for the rest of the week. Luckily I stopped myself, remembering that I still have a few more Cubs games to watch this week. Whew!! Of course he does just strike out to end it, so I would have likely been safe either way. At least they gave me a little bit of excitement there at the end.