Why all the Negativity?

I finally reached a boiling-over point regarding this political campaign. I'm used to each party attacking each other, but I don't recall regular people and bloggers being so aggressive in attacking a candidate. Maybe it's just my friends, but I've been seeing a pretty steady stream of anti-McCain videos, blogs, articles, etc. These are the same people that will talk about how the republicans are being un-fair when they attack Barack for his policies and personal issues. If you say anything bad about him you're either a racist or you think he's a terrorist. But somehow it's perfectly fine to create a YouTube video that goes on for 5 minutes about how McCain is a war mongering monster that's just out to kill everyone else in the world.
I'm certainly not a fan of McCain, but I really don't hear people say much about what Barack is going to do besides "not what that facist McCain would do!". What's his plan to get us out of this economic funk? How does he plan to handle aggressive rogue nations like North Korea, Iran? What is he going to do about the health care situation? Medicare, health insurance, required or not? Can we get an accurate read on how many of his announced initiatives he'd actually be able to get through Congress and the Senate? I never hear any Obama supporters bragging about that. Or bragging on what he's accomplished in his political career so far. Really you only hear about what he did in college. And he did do some great things. But they didn't involve judging what your supporters really wanted and what compromises would be required to make it happen. Didn't involve dealing with other countries that really didn't like you.
"Luckily" for me my vote really doesn't matter so I don't need to get too involved. Massachusetts is so overwhelmingly democratic that it doesn't matter who you vote for. But the fact that Obama's supporters have been so negative and ruthless in their attacking of McCain has me worried. I think we may be getting into to situation where people will support him because they get sick of the relentless attacking of him on a personal and professional level. And not that they have Palin to take shots at it's getting even worse. It's pretty clear that she's horribly unqualified to be the VP of this county. You don't need to go out of your way to attack her and point it out. Maybe you should take that energy and use it to spread positive messages about Obama and Biden. Educate people on their policies and what they plan to do. Tell us about their history and how that should convince us that they are just blowing smoke up our asses right now.
So here's what I plan on doing; next time I hear anyone bad-mouthing McCain/Plain I'm going start drilling them on Obama/Biden's politics. See if they acually have real reasons for their choices and aren't just toeing the party line and picking the guys that "aren't Bush".

Couple Camping Stories

I know you're all eagerly awaiting to some most excellent stories from the camping trip. Trouble is, I need to wait for my dad to type up and send out this year's journal before I can really re-tell most of them. Yes, we keep a journal while we're there. It's amazing how much each day just blends right into the next when you don't. Since we stay in the same base camp for the entire trip, we don't have any geography references to date our memories. And even if we did, you tend to just forget alot of really great little things after a week. We've got hundreds of things that we both totally forgot about until we read through the journal. And it's usually the little things that really make me smile.
But I do have a couple bones I can throw out there today.
1) I know alot of people out there are probably dying to get their hands on a new and unique thigh workout. And I've got a great one you can do at home with $5 in equipment. Here's what you do...go get a small garden trowel (little shovel for those that don't know) and a roll of toilet paper (or some napkins that you "stole" from Hardees when you stopped for breakfast on the drive up to the Boundry Waters). Then just wait around until the next time you have to take a crap. When you finally do, go dig yourself a small hole in the yard and take a crap in it. This works even better if the ground is dirty and full of pine needles, there are mosquitos buzzing around, and you really have to go. Nothing is more fun then frantically trying to dig a hole deep enough for this job in an area with very little soil and, in the words of my dad, "mosquitos big enough to rape turkeys".
2) We actually saw the end of a rainbow and there most certainly didn't appear to be a pot of gold anywhere to be found. It was our last day in the Quetico and we were just chilling in camp while a collection of drizzly little clouds broke up an otherwise sunny day. While standing under the rain fly waiting one out we looked up and saw a quite magnificent rainbow arching right down to the water's edge on the other side of the lake. As the drizzle moved by the end moved out more towards the middle of the lake, then retreated back into the trees and beyond. We've seen some pretty amazing displays by nature up there, but that was definitely unique. I didn't even know it was possible to see the end of a rainbow. I figured it was just another part of the myth. But there it was, clear as day and landing right on the water. And as we joked about where the gold might be, the same guy that said that great line about the mosquitos says, "maybe this is just nature's way of telling us that this whole area right here is our pot of gold." Fortunately I've yet to see any crazy Leprechans chasing after me to get any of it back.

Back in Black!

Well, I'm finally back from the woods. It's really amazing what 10 days in a canoe completely removed from everything except nature will do for you. Strip away all the pressures and problems of your life, and everything is just perfect.
Granted it'd be considerably harder if we were living there full-time and all. We go up there with enough food and clothes for 10 days, not 10 years. We don't have to worry about caching food for the winter. Or somehow making and repairing our clothes. But that's not my point. When the sun comes up, we got up. When it went down, we went to sleep. The only thing we really had to decide on a daily basis was where we were going to fish and where we wanted to have shore lunch. Everything else just took care of itself. Rain, wind, cold, you can't control any of it. You just wake up, see what the day has given you, and go about your business doing what you need to do. If it's too windy to safely go out in the canoe, you try to fish from shore and find something else to do. Take a nap, read some of the newspaper we bring to start fires, explore the island (again). Once you stop trying to force yourself to do things that clearly can't be done, life gets pretty simple.
And once you stop running around so fast you start to notice all the great things around you. When was the last time you just took some time to watch the clouds go by? Or check out a storm front as it moves in or out? How about just watching another animal go about it's day? It's amazing what you can learn about the world around you once you start watching it and paying attention to how you fit in it.
Yeah, I'm going to be all mellow and reflective for at least the next 4 or 5 days. I come back all idealistic about what I want to do with my life, people I need to get back in touch with, changes I need to make, etc. And it all inevitably falls apart as soon as I get back to work. Probably by Wednesday of next week it'll all be over and done. But you never know. Sometimes these changes and thoughts stick with me.
And of course I'll be posting various stories and events from the trip as time goes on. And once Dad gets the pictures developed, I'll post some of those. I know, analog film! But when you have to travel 20 miles to get where you want to get, every pound counts. And neither of us wants to carry in extra batteries to power a digital camera for 10 days when analog works just fine. Pictures can't even capture 1% of the actual image, so we don't need it. The photo just serves as a way to remind ourselves and jog our memory. That's where the real image is. The sights, smells, sounds, etc all together.
But it is good to be back. No more crapping in a hole in the woods. No more wearing the same dirty clothes for 4 days in a row. No more having to slice up ~5 fish every day for lunch and dinner. Every normal activity becomes so much easier to do. Kinda like this! Sure beats trying to send smoke signals over the horizon to try and communicate with someone else.

Spinal Tap and Spiny Chicks

I think the guys from Spinal Tap designed the window fan we have in our bedroom. You may recall that they have amps that go to 11, so when they're at 10 and need some extra kick they have somewhere to go. We can do the same thing with our fan. If we go from 'low' to 'high' and that's still not enough, we can go all the way to 'super'! That's right, baby. Super!
Of course they skipped over 'medium' in the process. And that's what I find a little odd.
It's not like the cheap window fan market is so competitive and ruthless that you need to pull out all the stops to make a sale. So when you have only 3 settings, why go for low/high/super? Especially when 'super' isn't really all that spectacular. It's not like it's blowing us out of the bed when we go there. Shit, it barely even flutters the blankets. Still a great fan, though. Spins both ways, quiet, fits perfectly in the window. I just wish they hadn't pulled that Spinal Tap move.

Has anyone else watched the womens 10m platform diving? Anyone else a little sickened by those Chinese divers? They're like flesh-colored skeletons! All bony and scrawny. And of course they don't make any splash when they hit the water, it's like dropping a pointy steel rod from the platform! I don't want to take anything away from their skill at spinning and twirling in the air, but their size should be considered when the judges are grading their entry. Of course, you really can't start taking away from people just because they have a physical gift. Every Olympic-level athlete has been given a physical gift in some manner. Maybe it's a higher percentage of quick-twitch muscles for sprinters, Phelps' short legs/long torso/long arms, or extra flexibility for a gymnast. But still, these 15-y-o girls have such an advantage given that they have no shoulders and no soft tissue that it's not really fair.
And can we finally say that there is a conspiracy going on this time around? The Chinese have been involved in WAY too many controversies and have gotten too many breaks on the judged events. I'm not saying that the US is getting cheated. I think we've made legit mistakes that cost us medals and opened the door for controversies to be introduced. If we'd executed the way we should have, it wouldn't have been a factor. But the fact is that the Chinese are killing everyone when judging is involved and getting smoked when it's not. That just seems pretty fishy to me. And the Olympic committee is wisely not going to touch it with a 10-foot pole. Too much money is at stake for them and every future host country to seriously entertain the possibility of unethical behavior. They'll just sweep it under the rug and wait for it to go away on its own in 2 months.

Nuclear Bombs and Automatic Wipers

As I was reading through some tiny articles in Popular Mechanics covering some noteworthy breakthroughs, I hit one regarding the new IBM Roadrunner super computer that proves a point I’ve been making for a couple of years now. The Roadrunner is the first computer to break the petaflop barrier. That means it can do more than 1 quadrillion calculations every second. While it’s hard to get comparative info on consumer CPUs (meaning it takes more than 1 minute of google searching), that’s about 100,000 times faster than any computer you own.

But guess what its main job is going to be. It will be simulating testing of nuclear weapons. It was built for the Department of Energy’s Los Alamos National Laboratory to simulate the effects of something we hope to never use. I guess it’s nice that they won’t be doing any live testing of nukes, but there has to be a better use of the most powerful computer on the planet.

And that is what proves my point. Everyone complains about how much money we spend on the military in this country. But some of the greatest inventions in our modern history have come out of it. No other organization, be it public or private, has the money to fund these incredible risky and financially unsound programs. No one except the Department of Defense. Jet engines, supercomputers, communication technology, artificial intelligence, control systems, etc. Sure, some of the technologies weren’t created by the military alone, but they were sure funded by it. The Darpa robotic vehicle challenge? It may be public and private companies doing the bulk of the work, but only because tax money is footing the prizes and forming the competition and doing the prep work.

But naturally, there is a flip side to our modern world of computer automation. Not 2 pages later there was a 1-page synopsis of the recent B2 (stealth bomber) crash at an airbase in Guam. These are aircraft that wouldn’t even be able to get off the ground without the advanced computer power they have on-board. That’s not a new concept for today’s jets, but it is allowing more and more aerodynamically unstable aircraft to fly. And taking more and more control away from the pilots, so that in the event of a computer malfunction there is less and less they can do to recover.

And that’s exactly what happened to the most expensive aircraft we have. You can check out the full piece here if you like:

B2 Crash And... Crash Read #2

In short, water got in 3 of the 24 air data sensors that tell the computer things like air speed and altitude and caused a malfunction. Techs on the ground “fixed” it by recalibrating the sensors and everything checked out. When the sensors’ heaters were turned on the water evaporated and returned the sensors to a pre-cal working state. But now they were reporting bad data because of the new calibration settings. This confused the computer, it reacted incorrectly as soon as they were off of the runway, the plane stalled out and crashed. There was nothing the pilot could do to stop it with so little time to react.

I personally don’t even like my car to automatically do anything outside of engine tuning, let alone take over major driving functions. Automatic wipers, lights, traction control, steering ratio adjustment, suspension adjustments, it’s not for me. I prefer to be in control of what my car is doing, not the other way around. Does that make me old? (Anyone that answered ‘yes’, get ready to have my orthopedic back pillow jammed up your ass!!)

Learning Curve to Rock to.

While many people probably think this isn't true, I've learned something important in the past year of living with Hayley (in sin!). I've learned that we like to learn things in 2 very different ways. I like to try to figure things out with as little outside help as possible. She likes to have her questions answered so she doesn't have to figure things out.
I get this from my dad. Any time I had to ask him a question about something, he'd typically reply with something like "how do you think you should do it?", "how do you think it works?", and the like. He'd guide me along the way, but he really wanted to make sure I was using my brain to figure it out on my own. And I'm very thankful he did it. I learned quite a bit about how to figure things out and how to reason things. Probably the reason I became an engineer.
However, Hayley doesn't appreciate that. If she asks how something works, she wants to be told how it works. She doesn't want to spend time thinking it through and making guesses and what not. And no, she doesn't appreciate guessing incorrectly. (yes, I've officially crossed a line here and probably won't walk away unscathed at this point. So I might as well just finish the job...) My feeling is this comes from her desire to not be wrong. I'm not saying she's a no-it-all that always has to be right. Far from it. But she does enjoy being right and doesn't like being wrong. It's hard to get her to guess at anything for fear that she'll be horribly wrong in her estimation. Oh, she claims that's not the answer, but we both know it is.
Hmmm...I thought I had somewhere I was going with all of this. Learning...different styles... I don't know.
I've been giving the task of assembling the CDs to be used during our cocktail hour and the band's breaks. Hayley has given me some songs she wants to be on it, and does have veto power, but I feel I'm putting together one hell of a great set. I want to bring the rock for the cocktail hour, mellow it out during the breaks. No, that doesn't mean I'm bringing any metal to the party, although some Chimaira would really kick things up a notch. Some of my choices will seem a bit odd, but that's because I do have some random songs that I wanted to get in. Songs that are meaningful to me and I want played. I might be the only person who'll look up at the speaker and say "awesome" when they come on, and that's fine with me. It's my f'n wedding and I can do what I want to. Our wedding. It's ourwedding. My bad. And I've never been one to go with convention at any point in my life. Why should I stop just because I've been saddled with a ball & chain?! Pssshhh, that thing can't stop me; it can only hope to slow me down a little bit. And yes, I'll have copies available to anyone who'd like one.
Man, 12 days from right now I'll be married and partying down at the reception. At least I hope so!! I feel like I should be doing something more single-like than blogging and watching "Two and a Half Men". I have 12 days to go and I'm not putting it to any kind of good use. Kinda sad. Eh, whatever.
Oh right, I remember where the learning thing was going to go. I've also learned that we both fall prey to the game of "(S)he Said/(S)he Heard". Case in point...Friday afternoon I did something to my lower back, which is apparently made of some kind of cracker, and couldn't really walk so good all weekend. Yet the lawn really needed to be mowed. Hayley said, "Do you need me to mow the lawn for you?" I heard, "Would you like me to rip off your testicles and give them a quick spin in this food processor?" It hurt, but I mowed it. And then I laid down for a bit. Not cause it hurt alot, because I was tired. That's all. Just tired.
And no, I don't really want to know what Hayley is hearing as she's reading this. I should probably start working on an apology...

When 97 is Better than 117

I came to some good pondering yesterday while taking a shit and consoling myself after a brutal Cubs loss (12-7 to the Reds). I uttered to myself, “oh well, you can’t win ‘em all and it’s not like we’re going after 116.” 116 being the MLB records for wins in a season, set originally by the 1906 Cubs and tied by the 2001 Mariners. This then got me thinking about how those teams have done. I remember the Mariners getting bounced quickly by the Yankees in ’01 (4-1 after going to 5 games in round one vs. the Indians) and remember other teams in other sports get embarrassed in the play-offs after waltzing through the regular season. In fact, of the 14 best MLB season records of all time, only 5 ended up champions. So it would appear to be a detriment to walk through your regular season without any real challenges.

Even though at first that seems counter-intuitive, that makes perfect sense to me. I’m going through a similar thing right now with hockey. After not playing any live, competitive games for 11 months due to my surgery, it’s hard to stoke that competitive fire right away. It’s like you forget how to really focus and buckle down. In the case of baseball, when you’ve been a lock for the division for a month, you don’t really go balls-out in a losing game. Why risk hurting yourself when the only thing you’re chasing is a record that doesn’t mean much? So when you’ve got your back put against the wall suddenly in the play-offs, you struggle to really get moving and do something. You get sloppy and make mistakes. You get over-matched by players with ½ the talent.

In fact, you see a similar effect when teams have a long lay-off b/t playoff series. If you sweep in team in 4 games, then have to wait a week while the other guys go 7 games, teams are often noticeably sloppier in that first game. Some teams are affected more than others, but you can see it in pretty much everyone if you know to look for it.

On the flip side, you don’t want to have to scratch and claw your way into the playoffs right up until the last day. While your players are well versed in playing under pressure and finding ways to win, that’s a lot of stress on everyone and you start to wear down. In addition, you can’t take a week to get your pitching rotation. And that becomes very important in a 5-game series. If you have to use your ace in game 162 just to make the playoffs, you may only get to use him 1 time in your opening series. And all of your bullpen guys and position players are going to be tired and stressed from the race to the finish. Ideally you like to give your big guys a day or 2 off in that last week so they’re fresh. Not too many days, which should be obvious by now. (Re-read the previous paragraph if you don’t know why.) You want fresh arms, fresh legs, and fresh minds going into the playoffs. Fresh, but still knowing what it means to battle for a close game and win.

In case you’re wondering, as I was, how dominating the ’08 Cubs would need to be to tie their franchise’s own record…they’d have to go 61-9 the rest of the way to get to 116. So after winning at a 0.598 clip thus far (on pace for 97 wins), they’d have to jump to a .871 clip to tie their record. I don’t see that happening. Nor do I want that to happen. I want them to cruise to a comfortable NL-best record for the #1 seed, allowing them to give guys some needed rest, without losing their drive. I really don’t need a repeat of last year, and this year the playoffs won’t coincide with my sister’s wedding. That gave me a welcome distraction from the agony last year.

And everyone mark October 14 on their calendars. That’s the official 100 year anniversary of the last Cubs World Series Victory. I can’t give you an exact time yet, but I’m working on it. Seems they didn’t keep highly detailed box scores back in aught-8.

AL Pitchers Aren't Men

Nope, AL pitchers are apparently not real men. And while I've always pretty much believed that, it's finally been confirmed by an AL owner. Hank's Rant. And since reading is for suckers, let me be a bit more specific. Hank's feelings on the NL not using the designated hitter (DH):

"I've got my pitchers running the bases, and one of them gets hurt. He's going to be out. I don't like that, and it's about time they address it. That was a rule from the 1800s."

5-year-olds playing t-ball can run the bases without getting hurt. Position players do it thousands of times a year without getting hurt. Do some suffer freak injuries doing it? Sure. But it's a very small percentage. Like 1 guy every couple years.
And to his "rule from the 1800s" jab, the vast majority of baseball's rules are from the 1800s. Let's see if we can examine a few from the original rules published in 1845:

1. The ball must be pitched, and not thrown, for the bat.
2. A ball knocked out of the field, or outside the range of first or third base, is foul.
3. Three balls being struck at and missed and the last one caught is a hand out; if not caught is considered fair, and a striker is bound to run.
4. A player running the base shall be out, if the ball is in the hands of an adversary on the base, or the runner is touched with it before he makes his base; it being understood, however, that in no instance is a ball to be thrown at him.
5. Players must take their strike in a regular turn.

Those are all rules that are from the 1800s and haven't changed a bit. Have you ever heard Hank complain about the "3 strikes, you're out" rules after someone Ks to lose a big game? Or if someone is out at first on a routine ground ball because of rule #4? So why target the lack of a DH in the National League when the DH is the latest rules change to baseball, and put in to address the "dead ball era" and generate more offense. That was addressed via a change to the height of the mound in 1969, and through modern advances in strength training and bat technology. Batters today work out year-round to work on their baseball skills, as opposed to having normal jobs in the off-season as in days of yore. Modern bats are lighter and stronger than ever before, meaning they can swing faster and the ball jumps off of the bat like never before.
I've never liked the DH rule. It just seems silly that 1 player on a team is allowed to become a 1-trick pony.
It's not football; you don't have a 2-platoon methodology. I recently heard it put even better: "No player should be allowed to show up to the ballpark and not even need a mitt." Yeah, these guys can hit. And yes, most pitchers can't. But some are actually pretty good hitters. And the majority of the rest enjoy going up there and doing what every other player on the team gets to do, even if they aren't so good.
It also adds a whole new level of managerial skills to the game. If it's a close game in the 7th and the pitcher's spot is coming up, do you pinch-hit for him and go to the bullpen? Or how about when you bring a reliever in mid-inning. If you know the 9-spot is coming up your next time at bat, you could insert the relief pitcher somewhere else, substitute for a position player in the 9th spot to replace whomever was in the spot the pitcher is now. For you AL guys, it's what's referred to as the double switch.
I understand Hank is frustrated at losing one of his best pitchers. But don't shit on what amounts to baseball ethics because your players are girl. Check that, even girls can run the bases without getting hurt. I guess he feels his pitchers all deserve to be in the Special Olympics. Those are really the only people I can see regularly hurting themselves jogging on flat, manicured ground. But hey, who am I to criticize someone who's put together far and away the highest payroll in baseball to build a 3rd place team.
Done and done.

Men are from Mars, Lesbians are from Lesbos.

Seriously. There is a Greek island, Lesbos.
I first heard about this via Opie & Anthony a few weeks ago when the citizens of said island were complaining about the direction their name has gone. How about you feel if your nationality shared a name with the potentially hot homosexual pairing?! But alas, my memory doesn't really work yet when I'm driving to work so I forgot all about it. Until today! I forget when and where it came up, maybe lunch, but it did.

Since I know most of you only read enough of the wiki page to figure out if I was full of shit or not, I'll fill you in with some details. To try and keep things clear, I will use the good English practice of capitalizing Lesbian when talking about the nationality and won't capitalize lesbian when talking about the sexual preference. Yes, this is just so I can make the easy jokes.

Now it's not a completely random association between the island and female homosexuality. Seems like quite a few of the poems penned by Sappho, who was a Lesbian, showed some strong sexual feelings towards other women. This Lesbian might have been a lesbian!! And so the link b/t Lesbos and woman-on-woman action was formed. Much to the demise of the Lesbos' current residents! Seems they're getting a little tired of it. The pilgrimages by lesbian couples, the laughs and taunts, the mocking from the other Aegean islands.
In fact, they're so sick of it, they've decided to sue lesbians to stop them from using their name! Lesbians vs. lesbians They claim that allowing gay women to use their nationality to reference themselves is insulting to their identity. Even worse, how do you explain that to a small child? I'm sure most children are going to get curious about why all those strange, non-Greek women are calling themselves Lesbians. Or is it lesbians? To quote one of the Lesbians involved in the trial:

"I have a hard time explaining to my daughter that we Lesbians are not homosexuals. My mother, my sister and my daughter are all Lesbians and it's incredible the amount of ridicule they suffer because of this,"

So true! So very true.
Lucky for everyone involved the court is committed to getting us a verdict within 2 months. Which then creates a pretty sizable problem of policing their decision, should it go against the lesbians. How do you stop the rest of the world from using it? I still say WWF when talking about the wrestling organization, and that's much less entertaining than thinking about young, sexy lesbians! Do you walk around handing out tickets to everyone that uses lesbians? Will people still click on spam emails advertising hot, soapy, Lesbians? I'm sure the island does have some lookers, but probably not what they need to have to support a porn business. Anna, you reading this? What is the legal precedent here?
And what's next? Is someone going to go after NAMBLA next? How would you even find members to sue? They aren't exactly an "out-there" group.
But don't fret people. I'll be sure to keep everyone updated on how it goes. Is anyone interesting in creating a Lesbian vs lebian betting pool?

Wrong on so Many Levels

I'm finally ready to share a disturbing event I was a part of last week. It was early in the day. I had just gotten to work and went to my yahoo home page. There was a headline of a story that implied there were pictures of the Pussycat Dolls dressed inappropriately. How could I resist?! So I go there to check it out and sure enough there was. But right next to them in the gallery was a picture of a...portly girl clearly taking her turn on the 'red carpet' at some event. She is apparently some big name in rock, yet I'd never seen her. Beth Ditto.
I proceed to do what any normal person would do and I see if wikipedia can help me out at all. Of course it does. Singer of a band Gossip. Lesbian and outspoken activist for gay rights. In a relationship with a "transman". At this point my brain realizes that we may be in trouble. Yet in my pre-coffee daze I stupidly keep reading. Mark isn't on GoogleTalk yet, so what else can I do?! Until I get to this mind-stopping quote:
"Ditto posed nude for On Our Backs, a women-run lesbian erotica magazine. "It was a big moment in my life," she told Curve magazine. "It was kind of a radical thing to do. I got my period just 10 minutes before we got there, and I was totally bleeding. I was doing it with my tranny boyfriend, who I’m in love with, and I was totally bleeding — how radical is that? — and I’m a fat person, and I’m a femme. It felt really good."
After recoiling in hour at what I had just read, Mark finally showed up and said 'hi' at the exact wrong moment. And after I share that lovely quote with him, he decided to fire back a shot of his own. This:


Touche. I proceeded to stare blankly at my screen for a good 30 seconds while my brain rebooted enough for me to get that awful image off my monitor.
Oh, did I mention that she also doesn't shave her pits or wear deodorant? Cause somehow not wearing deodorant is a feminist thing. Smelling like a bum in summer when you're out in public is her way of showing that she won't be oppressed by men.
And of course there's the issue of her weight. I'm thrilled she can be confident and happy even those she's at an unhealthy weight. That's just awesome. And she smokes. Even better! Why she needs to flaunt that, I really don't know. If I were to put on my psychology pants, I'd say she was over-compensating or she realizes that without doing that no one is going to give 2 shits about her, save for her friends and family. But certainly no media coverage for her activism. But maybe that's just the pants talking. They are known to do that. Why she can't maintain a healthy weight and still maintain her identity, I'll never care. But here we are. I'm no model, nor do I want to be. There's no way I can eat and drink the things I love and pull it off. Not until I can score a high-paying job that let's me work out and play sports all day. While those do exist, I'm horribly under-qualified for them. But what I can do is eat well and exercise and not keep myself at an unhealthy weight. But I think we've covered that ad nausem already.
So yeah, that was the opening to a morning last week. What morning I'm not sure. I've really tried to forget as much as I can. But alas, enough lingered that I had to find alternate outlets. I'm a wizard when it comes to ignoring and burying bad emotions. (does Jack ring a bell to anyone?) Why am I sharing this now? Cause I like to spread the pain around. You hurt me, I'll hurt a bunch of my friends.
ENJOY!!